Maybe it’s another long night tossing and turning trying to keep those thoughts of “her” out of your mind. Maybe it’s another dreadful day at work or school where you just can’t seem to focus on any of that boring stuff because the pain you’re feeling just makes you think about “her” even more.

Either way, your life just doesn’t have that same zest anymore. In fact, you might even say that things just seem down-right hopeless.

Why is this?

Here’s the answer. You feel lost without her because you are defining your happiness based on external circumstances. Namely, your defining your happiness based on how she reacts to you.

This way of living is only setting you up for trouble because you are relying on things outside your control to define your happiness. No matter what you do, you can’t control your ex girlfriend’s feelings. Ultimately, her reaction to you or being in a relationship with you is going to be her own choice.

When you cling to her loving you for your own well-being, one of three things will happen: you won’t get what you want (she won’t reciprocate your love), you’ll get what you don’t want (she’ll meet someone new), or she will want to be with you (however this situation may change over time).

Instead, if you can start to take responsibility for your own happiness, you can find a way to survive any of these situations without spiraling into a depression or “losing your mind” if you break up.

How do you do this? To start with, find things that you enjoy doing on your own. These might be a hobby, exercising, or spending time with your friends. Either way, you’ll start to see improvements in your confidence and self-esteem when you work on doing things you love doing.

This will start to change your focus from looking outside of you for happiness to looking within yourself to find joy in your life.

This may seem like a small and insignificant thing, but this really has the power to transform your relationship with yourself and your ex girlfriend as well.

That’s right, this can help you get her back. You see, you probably know that women don’t like desperation. Well, when you fill yourself up on self-love and self confidence, you’ll definitely be killing that desperation and coming off as much more attractive to her.

Author's Bio: 

But What If She's Really Gone for Good?

I know how hard it can be to try and make an ex understand just how special your love was, but if you want to really make him love you again, you'll need to learn a few tips that work amazingly well.

These tips are easy to pick up and they don't take much practice, you can read how to do it at: I Miss My Ex Girlfriend So Much

Don't give up hope, it's NOT impossible. Learn more tips for getting back a girlfriend by clicking the link.