How To Help My Marriage: I Need Help With My Marriage

"Just who can help me save my marriage?" Is that your cry because you feel you've thought of everything but you just can't seem to think of what to do to save your marriage? Then it's time for you to seek help from other sources besides your own head.

Consider the different sources below and you'll be pleasantly surprised by how much they can help you.

Self-help Marriage Books

This will be my number one choice if I needed a solution to help me save my marriage, and chances are if you've tried surfing online for help, you might have stumbled across a few books on Amazon.com or downloadable e-books that are catered towards helping you to save your marriage.

Self-help books are my number one choice because many of them are written by highly experienced marriage counsellors who have found the "winning formula", so they usually have a success rate higher than that of most marriage counsellors. What's more, they cost pennies compared to what you'll have to pay for counselling.

Online Forums Catered To Marriage Problems

My next choice to help me save my marriage would be online forums, especially those catered towards marriage problems. They are the perfect places to go to because they offer a platform to questions anonymously and get solutions from a variety of people who've gone through similar situations.

Best of all, it's free. However, it does lack real-time interaction like a back-and-forth dialogue, so help might not come as rapidly. But it's still a great source of help nonetheless. I'll recommend this forum; RelationshipTalkForum.com

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Asking People You Know

That includes friends, family members and relatives, especially if they have all dodged impending divorces. They will know first hand how to solve my problem, which makes them my third choice to help me save my marriage.

You can try asking them even if they have seemingly perfect relationships currently, because you never know what they've gone through.

Of course, the problem with this is that you'll only get to hear experiences that are limited to what worked for others, which might not necessarily work for you.

Seek Help From A Marriage Counsellor

The final source I would choose to help me save my marriage is to seek the help of marriage counsellors. They have the appropriate training in resolving marital conflicts coupled with their many years of experiences working with different couples of different problems.

You can ask questions on the spot, which will help you greatly to solve your marriage problems. However, it may cost a fair bit so it's be a viable option for some. Moreover, you might also run into the common problem that your spouse might not want to go with you to seek counsel together.

What's more, counselling is not a cure-all solution. With only about a 30% success rate, that's hardly enough to make it worth shouting "Help me save my marriage!" at the counsellor. So there you have it, my top four choices of help to seek if I needed help to help me save my marriage. Read them again if you need to so that you can decide what help to seek to save yours. Just remember to take action because the longer you delay, the harder it will be to save your marriage.

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Unfortunately more marriages fail than survive. When a marriage crisis occurs it is often the result of poor relationship patterns developed over time. Before a couple will be able to end the marriage crisis they need to realize that both partners want the same thing, to enjoy a healthy marriage.

Marriage crisis will inevitably rear its ugly head at some point in time. The duration and destructive potential can be limited by a couple who recognizes a few characteristics and agrees on their personal commitment to the relationship.

When entering into a relationship all is well. Both partners are committed and do their very best to please each other. Romance is in the air and life is good. In time most couples come up against hurdles they haven't seen before. How they respond to the conflict will determine their success and longevity as a couple.

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If a couple doesn't learn how to handle the inevitable conflicts in a healthy and loving way they are doomed to be among the failed marriage statistics. The two most important elements in learning how to handle conflict is the ability to listen and to your partner. Taking the time to listen to their concerns and then clarifying what you heard develops trust and understanding in a marriage.

If communication is strained or if there is a history of one or both partners experiencing difficulty expressing their feelings then it may require an outside party to facilitate the discussion. It has taken both of your efforts to get here. One person taking the initiative to make positive changes can make the difference in a relationship. With the proper assistance you will be on your way quickly to end the marriage crisis and enjoy a healthy marriage.

It has taken both of your efforts to get here. One person taking the initiative to make positive changes can make the difference in a relationship. With the proper assistance you will be on your way quickly to restoring your relationship.

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One of the things nobody on this earth should ever experience is going through a marriage that you thought you was going to last forever and now was doomed to come to an end. The reality is that in the world today, it is sad that the divorce rate is shockingly over 80% which makes me believe there is a lack of people who are big enough to accept commitment, responsibility and are selfless once they are in a marriage. Please make sure you congratulate yourself because you're actually trying to save your marriage and are actually looking at how to stop a divorce unlike those who have not taken the easy route.

During my marriage I faced serious problems where it looked like a divorce was going to be the outcome, I was fighting a battle to stop this from happening. I was forced to act, and do everything in my power to stop and avoid this end that was near approaching; I didn't know what to do or who to turn to. My mind told me to keep begging my husband for forgiveness; and so for 2 whole months that is what I did.

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The outcome need I say was that it was completely ineffective; in fact it made everything much more worse. Looking back at my actions now, I can see due to my desperate state; my mind was going into overdrive. I was doing everything wrong; I was fueled by emotions which led me into doing actions which reflected my mood. This meant negative action and as a result negative outcome which was not the answer to how to stop a divorce.

I can tell you now that the first step you must apply is simply to calm down. "Easier said than done", your telling yourself and I can tell you; yes it is and for good reason. It prevents you from doing knee jerk actions such as begging, and your second step is that as you apply the first step of how to stop a divorce you start to see from a wider perspective. You're looking from outside the box and able to pin point all areas you need to fix, this is completely impossible when you are in an overwhelmed emotional state. This follows along with giving your spouse some very essential "alone" time; precious because you are not there to pressure or give negative energy.

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Often, people see the phrases that talk about or threaten divorce (or taking some time apart) as sort of like crossing a line in the sand. Many people tell me that things are never quite the same after this. That threat is now always looming, even if the couple decide to try to work things out. The person who was on the receiving end of the threat of divorce may likely always be worried that the person who made the threat is still wondering if divorce just might be a better option. So, they're always trying to "prove" that it's better to stay together which can lead to them feeling like they are walking on eggshells or not being genuine or not saying what they really feel for fear of pushing their spouse even further away.

Still, I'm pretty clear on the fact that the mere mention or even serious discussions about a divorce don't mean that the marriage can't be saved. Sometimes quite the opposite is true. Sometimes, when this unspoken threat (that both people just may be thinking anyway,) is actually voiced, the lines of communication are suddenly open and that awkward untouchable thing that's been there for a while is now exposed. This can be a good thing. I'll discuss this more in the following article.

How To Handle It When You've Been Threatened With Divorce, But You Want To Save The Marriage: I can not stress enough that you want to avoid rash or extreme reactions or conversations. You really do not want to act as if the mere mention of divorce means that your marriage is most certainly going to end in that 3, 6, or 8 month time period that it takes for this to become final (or whatever that time frame might be.)

Instead, you want to use this as a spring board to calmly talk about this. Try very hard not to allow for yourself to get so upset that you say or do things that are going to only make this worse. Although calm and controlled might not allow you to feel any relief or release at the time, you will likely look back to see that it was exactly right.

What do I really need to do to make my spouse love me again? Is it possible to build massive attraction in my spouse?

To learn the killer, advanced strategies to save your marriage, simply click here!

You want to try to keep your reactions very even keeled. Tell your spouse that this conversation is troubling and surprising to you, but that you are certainly willing to sit down, and discuss what both of you might want going forward in an attempt to come up with a solution that works best for both of you. It's OK to say that you don't want a divorce if this is your truth. But, what will often happen is that this is all you are focusing on - keeping them from filing for divorce - so that you're not focused on what is really standing in your way or what is really propelling your spouse forward.

Also, it's important that you are able to put this threat into context. Is this something that you're spouse is saying in reaction to anger, fear, or some volatile situation? Or, is this something that they've been considering for a while and have only come to this decision because they think that nothing is ever going to improve? Are they saying this because they want your reassurance that you're committed to this marriage, since they themselves have been having doubts?

It's very helpful if you can determine where this is coming from, but, having said that, I also have to tell you that sometimes you won't be able to gage this immediately. Sometimes, this won't come out until you've had a series of conversations. It's often very hard for people to be able to get to the essence of the core problems. This is especially true for husbands. They'll often just give you vague phrases like "I'm just not happy and don't see myself as able to be happy with this marriage where it is right now." These sorts of phrases can be frustrating, but it doesn't always mean that they are being evasive. It sometimes means that they, themselves, just don't know. But, what they do know is that this marriage just feels wrong to them right now.

Saving The Marriage When Your Spouse Is Considering Divorce: This situation can be a very slippery slope. You don't want to react so negatively that they think that you are trying to thwart them. This will often make them just want the divorce more. You also don't want to come right out and say or imply that they are reading this all wrong. This is somewhat insulting and it runs counter to your insistence that you just want for them to be happy.

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What you want to do is to attempt to buy yourself some time, if you can manage this. You might suggest one of you visiting friends for a while or you may suggest putting any decisions about a divorce off of the table for say, six months. This would give you both some time to attempt to improve things before you make a life changing decision.

You always want to remember how your reactions are being perceived. And, even if you can get this reprieve, you don't want to keep bringing up the divorce and or to continuously ask what they are thinking or where they are leaning right now. Your best bet is to just focus on the positive. You want to create an atmosphere of a joint effort where the two of you are again partners and working toward one goal. Don't make this difficult because you're not acting like yourself out of fear of doing something wrong.

Here's the thing. You already know that your spouse loves you for who you really are. Now, it's just time to come back to a place where you can interact as the people that you both are deep down. You want to take a break from the stress, the tension, the jobs, the chores, and the things that blur the lines of who you both were in the first place.

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.

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