How To Help My Marriage: I Need Help With My Marriage

There is little doubt that most of us really desire a better marriage and if looking at a few marriage tips can help it's time well spent. To be happier in your marriage and end the doldrums it's necessary for you to find more creative and satisfying ways of loving each other.

The process to building a better marriage is not always fun or easy, but once you get there you never want to go back to the old marriage. That's how marriage should be, fun and adventurous right?

Marriage Tips

One of the problems in many marriages is that little behaviors that were once overlooked during the early stages of marriage are now viewed as irritating. Here are some things that perhaps you can relate to;

- Your spouse always interrupts you when you are talking and it drives you crazy.

- Perhaps your spouse never picks up after themselves.

- Maybe your spouse comes home from work, eats, flops in front of the T.V. and falls asleep every night.

- Does your spouse, drive you crazy by never being able to make a decision or perhaps if he or she does, never sticks to it?

Now, none of these behaviors alone generally wreck a marriage but if left unchecked over time can develop into more serious problems. Don't wait until you have had it and explode because of little annoying behaviors. Take your spouse by the hand and explain how much better you would feel if he or she worked at not doing these things.

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Keep in mind that marriage tips, even if from a spouse are difficult to receive because our human nature is to be defensive.

Other Marriage Tips

- Bring spontaneity back into your marriage. Try just letting things happen every once in a awhile and enjoy the moment. Having a planned organized daily routine is helpful but can bring a sense of complacency. Surprise your spouse every once in awhile with the unexpected and you'll be giving marriage tips to others.

- Be thoughtful of your spouse and show appreciation. This should be done through kind words and acts of kindness. Do the little things that show your spouse you appreciate and care. It can be as simple as mailing a "I love you and thank you card" to your home. There are hundreds of things you can do to show your thoughtfulness.

- Don't blame your unhappiness on your spouse. We are all really responsible for ourselves. It's very easy to blame others for the way we feel when in fact we are responsible for our own happiness. Clearly, our relationship with our spouse influences our happiness but it shouldn't control it.

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No couple starts married life thinking that they will eventually breakup. Divorce for many people means that they have failed, and it still signals to society in general, that a divorced person was not able to make their marriage work; that there was some failing on their part. There are new statistics available that indicate if a couple has marriage issues and they refuse to consider divorce then they tend to be able to resolve their issues and build a stronger marriage as a result. So there is evidence that for couples who don't want divorce, don't consider it is a good rule of thumb.

Divorcing your spouse is painful and requires a great deal of effort and time and should always be an absolute last resort. Of course, there are always exceptions, such as physical violence and abuse that should never be tolerated in any relationship. It is important then, to explore alternatives to resolving the issues between you, through open and honest communication either together or with the help of marriage counseling.

Everyone will want to give you advice when they sense you are having marriage trouble, which may not be that helpful. Others do not fully understand the issues and will always see things from their perspective and offer advice slanted that way. They may see divorce as the best option and in fact, the reverse may be true, and getting a divorce may actually make things much worse. As much as you love your family and friends remember this is your marriage and as such the two of you need to decide how you deal with it.

About 80 percent of couples who once thought of getting a divorce but didn't, have been found to be still married quite happily some years on. So how did this come about? Some couples faced with the prospect of divorcing decide instead to focus on the issues in their marriage and find effective solutions to resolve them. Not only did they admit and identify their problems but they made the effort to save their marriage by focusing on finding a solution that worked for both of them.

What if your spouse don't love you anymore? Here's how to get them addicted to you like when you fell in love for the first time

While some couples considering divorce can see it as a challenge to fix, for others it becomes an option that becomes increasingly more appealing. Unfortunately in this case when divorce becomes an attractive option, other alternatives are then overlooked or not even considered. All the couple is thinking about is to get away from each other and moving on to another relationship that is easier, with no problems.

In situations where couples do not consider divorce, they are more likely to have a successful and happier marriage. They focus not on the easy way out, but on resolving their issues by identifying the underlying causes of their problems and working together to implement solutions that work for both of them. It does not seem like the easy way but it certainly gives them a happier outcome, building strength into their relationship and helping them grow as individuals. Divorce is not the easy option it appears to be, as any issues not faced and dealt with in the ended relationship will only resurface later, still needing resolution, with the potential to cripple any future relationship.

Even though couples can be different as individuals, they become a team as a married couple. When they work together to resolve those differences and keep divorce off the table, they can build stronger bonds and a happier future together. They can use their differences and learn how to complement each other.

Making your marriage better, is a better option than giving up on each other. Together you work to develop good communication and listening skills and do what you need to do in order to save your marriage. When you both agree and say "don't want divorce, don't consider it " and the word "divorce" is excluded from your thoughts and vocabulary, you frame your mind to find positive solutions when problems come your way. You then set yourselves up to work together as a team with a mission - building a strong happy loving marriage.

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Marriage counselling is a kind of therapy being used by trained psychotherapists or counsellors to resolve conflicts and improve relationships between husbands and wives. Most couples face problems at some point during marriage. Like it or not, most marriages go through a certain cycle. It usually starts with blessings and happiness to uncertainty, misunderstandings, doubts and conflicts. Unless one is totally devoted and willing to listen to everything the other says, no marriage is perfect.

Marriages usually suffered due to addictive behaviour, boredom, broken trust, lack of appreciation, lack of communication, lack of sex, misunderstandings, over suspicion or even wives' inability to conceive. All these could lead to alcoholism and infidelity which in turn led to quarrels and violence. Matters could turn complicated if they have children who got affected. Under those circumstances, tougher measures like police interference may be required other than just counselling.

Usually the people most couples turned to for marriage advice are the ones closest to them. Such as their families, friends and relatives. It is only when their close ones failed them then they turned to marriage counsellors. The primary role of marriage counsellors is to improve the interaction between husbands and wives by helping them develop skills in listening and understanding each other better.

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As third parties, they may not be able to solve all your marriage problems but can train you to solve them yourself. After all, marriage is still between you and your spouse and for it to work, you and your spouse must work hand in hand together to keep it strong and healthy as ever. Interviews with counsellors have indicated their methods varied according to the comfort level of couples. Some couples prefer one-to-one advice while others prefer to be guided together.

But when things really got out of hand and the couple cannot negotiate with each other, their services are required again to sort out their problems before they escalated into separation and even divorce proceedings. The psychology behind marriage counselling is studied in detail and the results proved to be effective and positive most of the time. All marriage counsellors are specially trained to uncover the root problems of marriage conflicts simply by listening to both parties before recommending solutions based on their personality and capability.

In a nutshell, a successful marriage counsellor should have a balanced and mature state of mind and disposition before giving advice.

So if you, your spouse or both needs a capable one, you should have some basic information about the services before seeking his or her advice. Information like whether the first assessment session is free, whether you have to pay for every session and more importantly whether those sessions can accommodate your work schedules etc. Other than those, the qualifications of the marriage counsellor are to be taken into consideration as well.

Do you want to reawaken a committed and loving relationship in your marriage? There are proven steps that are amazingly powerful that will help you overcome conflicts and breathe life back into your marriage. This is a plan you do not want to pass by. Click here to see the proven steps on how to save your marriage.

Author's Bio: 

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