How To Make Your Husband Realize His Mistake: How Do I Make My Husband Realize He's Missing Out By Leaving Me

I often hear from wives who are hoping to manipulate their husband's feelings after he has left them or initiated a separation. They are hoping that they can make him miss or long for them. The hope is that he will regret leaving and will want to come home. The idea is to get him to see what he is missing so that he values it more.

I heard from a wife who said: "my husband left me about three and a half weeks ago. I suspected that he was unhappy but I never thought that he would actually leave. My friends all say that he is crazy to leave me because frankly I am too good for him. I'm not sure if this is true, but I consider myself to be attractive and a good partner. Apparently this isn't enough for him though. He occasionally calls me but so far he hasn't asked to see me. I've thought about making these conversations count by attempting to make him jealous. I've also thought about taking another guy to the bar that I know he frequents. I fantasize about getting all dressed up and looking fabulous so that when I walk in, my husband's mouth drops open and he sees just what he is missing. My mother says that this isn't a great idea because it is just attention seeking behavior that is very obvious. She said if he doesn't know what he's missing now, there's not much I can do to get him to realize this. Who is right?"

Actually, I think that both people were right in different ways. This is a very common idea during a separation. The wife usually wants to try various ways to make the husband regret leaving. No one can blame her for doing this. But, you have to be very careful about how you set out to accomplish this. Because if you go overboard, then you just end up looking desperate and manipulative. And instead of making him see what he's missing so that he wants to come home, he actually feels relief that he's gone.

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Know That He Will Often Think Of You The Most Favorably When He Sees You In A Favorable Situation:

Men are often more perceptive than we give them credit for. They often aren't dull enough to think that it's only a coincidence that we show up at a place with another man at the exact same time that he just happens to be there. And even if it was coincidence, it's probably not going to be your finest hour when your husband sees you carrying on with someone else, even when he is the one who has initiated the separation. Sure, it may make him jealous for the short term, but it only brings drama to an already volatile situation and it isn't likely to make things so much better so that he wants to come home.

I dialog with a lot of men about this topic on my blog. And I find that they often actually see their wives favorably during a separation when she is engaging in positive behavior. They might see what they are missing when they hear that you have gone back to school, are seeing old friends, or that you have joined a gym. These are just various examples. You will have to search your own personality to see what sorts of behaviors would make the most sense for you. But the point that I am trying to make is that you will often have much more impact when it looks as if you are being genuine and are not trying too hard.

Mutual Friends Can Often Help You Accomplish This Task In A More Effective Way:

I know that you probably want to take control right now. But if you try to just happen to run into your husband or if you purposefully put on a display, your husband will sometimes have no doubt that the whole thing is staged for his benefit.

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You will usually have a much bigger impact if your husband hears about your behavior through a neutral third party. This is most often accomplished by a mutual friend or family member. It's better that you don't directly ask someone to do this for you. Instead, you allow them to see the behavior that you want to get back to your husband. And you trust that the conversation will naturally flow that way.

If you don't think that this is possible, then you can scatter some details into your conversations with your husband. This isn't as ideal, but it's still better than trying to act in an obvious and non genuine way in person. The key here is to act extremely casual and sincere. Wait for him to ask you how you are or what you have been doing before you volunteer a lot of information.

Then, speak briefly and let him be the one to ask questions. Don't give too much away. Again, you want to sound upbeat and casual. Because your whole goal is to sound very sincere. You don't want for him to think that you have any motive about what you are disclosing. Instead, you want it to appear that you are offering reassurance that you are coping as best as you can and that you are trying to focus on the positive.

So to answer the question posed, there are some decent ways to allow your husband to see what he is missing. Most of the time, the most effective way is to allow him to see you picking yourself up and dusting yourself off. You want him to know that you are still your best self. And, you will often have a much more positive impact if you don't accomplish this in an obvious or negative way. You don't want for him to feel a negative reaction. You want for him to think of you positively when he comes to this conclusion on his own.

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Congratulations on making this decision. So many divorces occur because couples essentially throw in the towel and give up on the relationship. By making the decision to save your marriage, you have actually taken a very important step. Let's talk about how to save a broken marriage and win back the love of your spouse.

Before you get the idea that I am just recklessly throwing advice out there, I should probably tell you a little about myself. I am definitely not a marriage counselor or therapist, so I don't have a fancy piece of paper on my wall. My education was earned by living through a horrible marriage, facing a near divorce, and ultimately saving the marriage. Today my relationship with my wife is better than the day we were married.

You can save your marriage too!

The first thing you need to do is not play the "blame game." There is no point in spending time blaming either yourself or your spouse for the problems you are facing. The primary goal at this point MUST be to save your marriage! It does not matter who did what to whom.

Next, you will have to get yourself out of the negative emotional condition you are in right now. If you are experiencing any combination of anger, fear, jealousy, shock, depression, hurt or confusion then you are NOT in the resourceful condition you need to be in to do what needs to be done.

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You must commit yourself completely to saving your marriage, REGARDLESS of what your spouse is doing. You must be calm and rational and by all appearances remain confident understanding and patient (even if you don't necessarily feel all those things on the inside)

With every action there is a reaction! By doing and saying very specific things, you can change the dynamics of your marriage and set it on a new course, even if your spouse isn't doing anything right now.

And finally, you have got to realize that NOTHING will change if you don't take the steps to do something about it! Time is not on your side and the longer you wait, the less your chances of turning your marriage around.

My best thinking and most sincere desire to save my marriage nearly destroyed it and I didn't even realize it. It wasn't until I found out what I had been doing wrong and made some changes did I begin to see the relationship change. Again, this is not about either of you being right or wrong. It actually isn't about the two of you at all! It is about the marriage.

That is the real secret and it's something that 99% of traditional marriage counselors know nothing about.

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Are long lasting, affectionate, caring marriage relationships only possible within a fairytale, or is 'happily ever after' available in a reality ridden world? With the divorce rate being the way it is, most people are skeptical about the longevity of marriages within today's world and are looking to avoid marriage mistakes.

If you feel that your marriage is headed in the wrong direction and doesn't seem to be headed for fairy tale ending, there is actually something that you can do to get it back on track.
Here goes:

1. Make your Spouse The Most Important Person To You

With children, jobs, social and religious responsibilities and a whole host of other 'justifiable' distractions competing for your attention, your spouse can fall to a distant fourth or fifth on your list of priories. If you find that this describes you and value your marriage, then you need to have this remedied immediately? Make time somehow to spend quality time together with your spouse, ensure that he feels special and treasured during your times together. It may be a sacrifice for you both, but it is a sacrifice that has to be made if your marriage means anything to you. Every now and then, remind yourself and your partner that you are both more than parents or breadwinners -you are also a romantically involved couple; now go act like it.

What do I really need to do to make my spouse love me again? Is it possible to build massive attraction in my spouse?

To learn the killer, advanced strategies to save your marriage, simply click here!

2. Assess Your Marriage

Just like anything else in life, some amount of effort is required for a marriage to work. Love goes so far and no more; therefore a concerted effort on the part of both persons is needed to maintain a healthy marital relationship. Take time, every now and then, to assess your relationship and make new goals that you want to accomplish together. See is there is anything either of you can do to enhance or contribute to the longevity of your marriage.

3. Get Professional Help

Do not wait until the divorce papers are about to be signed before seeking professional help. Once you have identified areas that need reconciliation, seek the assistance of a third party, especially if the communication has broken down significantly within the relationship. Seeking marital counseling in a timely fashion can make a huge difference to the salvaging of your marriage.

There is no need to go the route of divorce if your marriage is shaky, but you need to act now. Do not put off dealing with issues that you have identified. They will not go away and you will regret it later.

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Of all the tips to save a marriage perhaps the most important is what you actually DO that will bring stability and love back into your marriage and rescue it from the clutches of a messy divorce. In this regard the old saying "Actions speak louder than words" is very true.

This is usually because if you are at the stage where divorce was imminent or at least a distinct possibility then by this stage talk is considered cheap. Here is a list you may have heard that does not work at this stage:

"I will change I swear I will!"

"I will sort that thing out, I give you my word."

"That does not matter because ..."

You may see that this all relies on your spouse's assessment of your character which in times of troubled marriages may seem quite low especially if you have said any of these things before and it has not sorted the problems you both have in your marriage.

What if your spouse already left you? Here's how to get them back.

Not that you cannot say you will do these things but do not expect anything to change until you DO, do them, but here is how you must go about it. Do not make a big issue of whatever you are doing! If you hop up and down and make a big song and dance about one thing you promised to change it will seem fake, it may be seen as insulting even and to a dissatisfied spouse it may seem like you have just done this once to get on their good side and may see it as manipulative.

The best way once you find out what you need to do to win them back is to take action where action is needed, make sure they know about it of course and most of the time just doing what you said will be noticed but do not even mention it except in passing because if you really want to save your marriage then your ultimate goal and ultimate reward is to stop a divorce. You should not need a reward every time you take an important action, only look for the end game and you will be rewarded with a better marriage in the end a better understanding on how to be a good husband or wife because actions speak louder than words and adding words to actions just sullies them.

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.

Author's Bio: 

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There are specific techniques that will show you exactly what to do and what to say to get your spouse back in your arms- Especially if you are the only one trying... Visit Save The Marriage to find out more.

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