Husband Gets Angry When I Tell Him How I Feel: He Gets Defensive When I Tell Him How I Feel

"My husband is always angry and I can't stand him anymore!" Little things can set him off and he will start to throw his temper at you or even the kids. Your tolerance is getting out of place too and you feel like divorcing him. Before you make up your mind to divorce him, probably you should relook what can be done to save your marriage first because a divorce should not be made hastily.

A husband getting angry all the time can be very frustrating in a marriage and this behavior must stop. When either one party is always angry, communication will become a problem. Hence, you need to set boundaries between your husband and you.

First, start to analyze and figure out when your husband starts to throw his temper at you. Did he get angry after a new job? Anything related to financial or commitment issues such as car, house, children or even family? Did you do anything unfaithful to him or probably he was like this all the while?

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Come out with some solutions to the possible causes and find a good chance to have a private meeting with him. It will be best to have the private meeting where no one can hear the conversation and with no interruption.

Before you start telling him the problems that both of you are facing in the marriage, acknowledge his hard work and dedication to the family. Soften the approach by praising him first. Let him know how difficult it is for you when he gets angry and ask him what you can do to improve his temper and the marriage.

Agree on a plan to work on his temper and the marriage. If he is going to throw his temper again, let him know what you will do. Probably you can consider to bring your kids back to your parents and stay for a period of time if he gets angry over you again. This is to show him that you need respect and he cannot anyhow hurt you.

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No matter how long you have been married, most relationships will go through some type of trial and tribulation. Even the best of marriages have had some amount of turmoil at some point. If you are not happy with the state of your relationship and think your situation needs some help, follow these five tips below for how to save a marriage.

1. Make time for each other. No matter how much is going on in each of you lives, you need to spend time together. It can seem difficult to accomplish this with hours spent at work, children needing attention, household chores, and other outside obligations, but you need to spend time with your spouse. Even if you are only able to "find" fifteen minutes, spend those fifteen minutes alone to connect with your spouse to find out about his or her day, anything special happening, or just to cuddle together. Time spent together is need to keep the connection alive.

2. Communicate with each other. Talking about anything from the most mundane to the most serious of topics is necessary for a good marriage, so keep the lines of communication open. Share your problems, hopes and dreams, funny stories or anything else that comes to mind.

3. When an argument or disagreement erupts, take control of your emotions. Stay calm and do not overreact. Be in control of your behavior to take charge of the situation at hand. You are the only one who can do anything about your behavior so make a decision to no let things get out of hand.

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4. Even when things do not seem to be going so well, try to keep a positive attitude. Being negative about everything is not going to help your situation at all. If you decide everything is awful, then it will be awful. If you decide there are some good things in your relationship, be positive about those good things and focus on those qualities.

5. Do not criticize or nag. I am sure that you can agree that whenever someone criticizes or nags you, it does not exactly make you feel like jumping for joy. Your spouse is the same way. Nagging day and night about doing a chore will not make your spouse want to complete the task. It will only produce the exact opposite results. Also, criticism for all of your spouse's faults will not change anything either. Compliments will work much better and by focusing on the positive qualities, you will make your partner much more receptive to wanting to change their behavior.

Of course, there are many more tips you can use than are mentioned here to work on making your marriage better. Keeping relationships alive and healthy take work. Try using some of these tips for how to save a marriage as a beginning point to having the relationship you desire. If you feel your situation is much more serious to benefit from the above suggestions, please realize that there is still hope to save a marriage.

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This is something that you ladies can put to use once in a while to remind us guys how we fell in love with you in the first place. What men want is a woman who is unguarded. What I mean when I say this is a woman who doesn't feel pressured to behave a certain way. It's her normal, loving, feminine self (the sort of "you" we like most). Don't drop your guard too much, though. This technique should only be used sparingly to make us men really appreciate you.

I'll use an example to illustrate this. This one time when I was still dating my now wife, I visited her house. Her laundry sink is close the back door, which I entered from. She didn't hear me coming. I saw her washing her dog. The expression on her face startled me.

I could only describe it as soft. The amount of love she was looking at her dog at was... beautiful. To put it in perspective, I only ever saw that look one other time since I saw her washing her dog. I know it doesn't seem like much, but I couldn't help but feel a rush of affection and desire to protect this girl, which influenced my decision to marry her.

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Again, this technique is best used sparingly. When I say sparingly, I'm talking maybe once every two to three months. It works better when you tend to be more aloof. It shows that you have a softer side which, let's be honest, is a lot easier to love.

What can happen if you use it too much? You just look weak. It also looks like you're delicate and fragile, which can potentially turn off your man. It will give him the impression that you can't look after yourself and that he has to always be there to support you. Men are attracted to women who don't need them. That's the simple truth of the matter.

So throw in the occasional element of softness into your interactions with your man. It really gives us guys a reason to love you and probably works best in a lead up to something. If you simply "throw it in there" out of nowhere, we're going to think your conceited and manipulative.

You can't fake this expression. You genuinely have to love us. We'll know if you're faking it or not. Drop the guard and be prepared to be enveloped in our love.

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Trust is like a glass that is so fragile. A little crack can break it into tiny pieces that will make it impossible to glue back together without seeing traces of the crack.

One of the things that is so difficult to mend and repair is trust. Once it is broken, it is not easy to bring it back to where it was. Trust is earned, and it takes time before it is entrusted to someone simply because there are fears and doubts that need to be overcome. Once that bridge of uncertainty is crossed, then trust begins.

It is for this reason why it is so painful when this trust is broken. After overcoming your fears, believing in the person, and giving a part of your self, you are then lied to and cheated on. It is like a gift that you have saved so much for, only to be thrown into the garbage.

Losing your trust does not only apply to the person who has hurt you but to other people as well. When I lost my trust in my ex-husband, I lost my trust in all men. I started looking at men in the same way, that they are all going to hurt me and that when they say they love me, they don't really mean it. My heart became numb and it built walls around it that grew higher and thicker over the years. It became my way of shielding myself from getting hurt any further.

It took the power of real love to break down my high and thick walls and to teach me how to trust again. All it took was for me to surrender my life to Jesus. It was then that I realized how hungry I was for love. He drew me so close to Him and I began to experience a love I have never known. He assured me that He will never leave me nor forsake me. He promised me that He will restore everything that the devil has stolen from me. I believed Him and didn't even doubt for a moment. If He could die for me, then He can surely do anything for me. My trust in Jesus gave way to my healing, allowing me to start trusting others again.

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This did not happen overnight. The healing process was painful because I had to confront a lot of things from my past that I didn't even want to remember. It was difficult because I had to forgive those who have hurt me. It was trying because I had to let go of the so many questions I had in my mind that I needed answers for.

Forgiveness and letting go are the key factors to learning to trust again. You have to remember though that not because you have forgotten something painful means that you have forgiven and let go. This was exactly the case with me. God taught me that forgiving the people who have hurt me means releasing them to His care so that I will not give them anymore the power to hurt me. I've also learned that forgiveness that does not have to go with my feelings. I forgive out of obedience to God and not because I feel ready for it.

While it is easy to trust God because of His very nature, it is not as easy trusting men who will fail you. Again, this is something I have learned over time. It is not the person that I should trust but the Man who died for me. This is why it becomes easier to trust someone who is also surrendered to Jesus. And this is why being married to a man who truly loves God has helped a lot in healing me and in learning to trust again. Though he is far from perfect, he continues to submit to God's Word and His perfect will, and therefore God continues to perfect that which concerns him. His love for God gives him the ability to love me the way God wants me to be loved.

Surrender to Jesus... Forgiveness... Letting Go... Trusting the Man who died for you... Being with someone who truly loves God... these are the factors that made me learn to trust again.

Only Jesus was able to put back the broken and smashed pieces of my heart, leaving not even a trace of crack on it.

Now Listen Carefully-

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Author's Bio: 

50% of people divorce. Do not be another statistic. You Can Save Your Marriage These powerful techniques will allow you to trust again and ignite the fire and passion back into your relationship. Save Your marriage today! Click Here

Divorce does not have to be your only option. Even if it feels as though your relationship can't be saved because of the ongoing conflicts between you and your spouse, it can be. There are techniques that you can begin using today that will not only stop a divorce, but will help also you build a stronger and more loving marriage.

Do you have a unique situation? Discuss your marriage problems on our forum. We can help you find a great loving relationship! Go to: RelationshipTalkForum.com