Husband Wants Me Out Of The House: My Husband Wants Me To Leave The House

When my own marriage was failing, my head was full of thoughts like "My husband said he wanted to divorce me! What should I do? Should I just take it and divorce him, or should I fight?" As you can guess, I chose to fight. But the fight for my marriage (and my life) wasn't easy: In fact, it was going so bad that I thought my marriage's collapse was now inevitable. However, by later methods I have turned the tide and saved my marriage - now we have been problem-free for more than two years. So, what did I do to save my marriage?

First of all, I have been taught that acting according to instinct is the worst thing to do in these situations. In fact, the person who gave me the advice that saved my troubled marriage said to me: "Juliette, what kills marriages is not the problems themselves. It's what the wives do to 'solve' those marriage problems." She was so right. As women, we think too much - we can't live with the fact that our marriage is about to be taken with us. My husband said he wants a divorce! I must do something! I don't know what, but something!

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The utter chaos and despair in my mind was clouding my thoughts and making me think of the wrong things. I always thought what I should do and the only thing I could come up with was to just go and beg him for forgiveness, promise him things would be better, just cry to make him see how sorry I was, etc, etc. In fact, this was doing nothing but killing the marriage even worse!

So, to prevent a divorce, the first thing you should do is to get rid of those chaotic feelings, and get into a clear state of mind. The key to saving your marriage even when your husband says he wants to divorce you lies in being able to think clearly and not doing anything to end your marriage.

Even if both spouses love each other sincerely, at times they might find themselves getting more and more distant from each other and getting close to a divorce. But like me, you too can take some steps into saving your marriage and turning it into a satisfying relationship.

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Yes, you can save your marriage, even if your spouse doesn't seem to want to even try. In any relationship or marriage, you must know that there is one person who is in control. One person has the power to take a failing marriage and make it a long lasting marriage. On the other hand, you must also know that this same person has the power to crush the relationship. Who has such a strong hold on a marriage, you wonder?

It's YOU.

When you were born, you were blessed with free will. This means that you have options. You can make choices. YOU are responsible for your actions, or non-actions. So, what does this have to do with saving your marriage?

EVERYTHING

By having a choice, you have the choice to complain about the wrongs in your marriage, or to act on them and make them right. You have the choice to let negative emotions rule your life, or take control of them, and turn them into positive emotions.

Keep in mind, though, that you CANNOT control how your spouse behaves. Like yourself, they were blessed with free will, also. BUT, you CAN control how you react to your spouse's actions! You only behave the way you choose to behave. When you realize this, it can make a drastic improvement in not only your marriage, but your entire life, in general.

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If you want to feel more loved, then act more loving. If you want to be happier, then you have to make yourself happier - put a smile on your face (at first, you may very well have to force that smile, but know that it does get easier. Soon, you will find yourself smiling all the time!). Keep thinking of the GOOD parts in your marriage, and dwell on those. This will keep the harmful, negative thoughts away, and keep them from harming your marriage, subconsciously.

Don't act on hurtful emotions

When a marriage is in crisis, the most common reaction is to become defensive - about everything. Although this is a natural reaction, it also causes more pain. Remember, these are REACTIONS. You have the power to control your reactions!

You are more powerful than you think

You have the power to single handedly change your marriage - for the better. No doubt through life, you have noticed that one person's mood affects all the people around them. Let this rule apply to your marriage - instead of always thinking negatively, and walking around with a frown on your face, try to think positive, and smile. You will be amazed at what this one simple change will do for your marriage!

And, since YOU are acting positive, those feelings will rub off on your spouse, and the both of you will once again be happy! The first step to saving your marriage begins with you. Isn't it time to be happy again?

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A couple working together as a team are a lot like two partners beginning a business. At first, the two partners are excited about what they are building. They hold a vision for their future, and they are aware of their own and each other's talents and desires. Plans are made with an expectation of responsibility, follow through, and clear communication. And each partner is aware that adjustments must be made when difficulties or obstacles arise.

A couple operating as a team will direct individual accomplishments toward the objectives that nurture and allow their relationship to flourish. While it may be a bit of a stretch to compare your relationship to a business venture, when couples consider their relationship in terms similar to those used in business they are often able to create a very strong foundation for their relationship.

Teams value collaboration. Teams work together toward a common vision and understand that thinking, planning, making decisions and taking actions are best performed cooperatively. A couple operating as a team will direct individual accomplishments toward the objectives that nurture and allow the relationship to flourish. Working together as a team will help you and your partner to begin to build the kind of relationship that supports each of you in attaining the extraordinary results your relationship deserves.

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Characteristics of a Successful and Healthy Relationship Team

- Trust is a solid foundation of the relationship

- Productive conflict is acknowledged as a natural part of the relationship

- A commitment is made by each person to the relationship

- Each partner's values are aligned with the goals of the relationship

- Visions, goals and outcomes are clearly defined

- Each partner is accountable for their actions in the relationship

- Mistakes are readily admitted

- Mutual respect is shown

- Each partner is given the benefit of the doubt

- Help is asked for and graciously given

- Each partner asks for what they need and want

- Partners rely on each others' strengths

- Apologies are offered and accepted when necessary

- Interactions are lively, engaging, and loving

- Potential problems are identified quickly

- Resolutions to problems that are acceptable to both partners are sought

- Effective communication skills are used to negotiate agreements and make decisions

- A safe environment is created in which each partner can be vulnerable

- Partners are open to resolving conflict

- Each partner listens to what the other is saying

- Effective and clarifying questions are asked when something is not understood

- Each partner has integrity; they remain true to their word and do what they say they are going to do

Good teamwork can not only help you solve problems that you might not be able to solve by yourself, but can dramatically help dismantle the distance that may have grown between the two of you. To create a powerful and successful relationship, try teaming up with your partner.

Couples can love one another and yet find themselves drifting apart and headed for a divorce. There are steps you can take, with or without the aid of your spouse to get your marriage back into the loving place it once was.

Click here to save your marriage and rebuild it into a more connected, satisfying relationship.

When faced with the reality that the marriage you put so much effort into has hit the rocks despite the fact that you loved your ex husband and remain willing to do everything to see things work out again, chances are that all your thoughts are right now centred on "steps to getting back with my ex husband".

Whatever you may have heard or know about fixing a broken marriage, the easy-way approach does not work with relationship issues because these issues are emotional in nature and the reactions associated with them are instinctive and often run contrary to logic and common sense.

If you are thinking of how to get back together with your ex husband and you are really serious about it then you cannot afford to act based on your instincts as most people do.

Consider the following steps right away:-

Step 1 - Never let your emotions direct your actions

The first thing you need to do is to step away from the situation you are passing through in order to get a better perspective. At this point, you just cannot afford not to think straight! Displaying emotions of resentment or fear, desperation or anger may well ensure that you chances of reconciliation are permanently lost.

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Step 2 - Steer clear of laying blame

When you are faced with a situation of this nature, it is important not to lose focus of what your end goal is - to reconcile with your ex husband. If your idea of fixing your marriage is to blame or criticise your husband then reconciliation may be a long way from you.

Surely there will be appropriate times to for discussing what happened but for now, you want to reconcile first. Also, you may have discovered through critical self-examination that you too are responsible for some of the things that went wrong in your marriage. Part of the process of getting your ex husband back is to own up to your own faults and take steps to remedy them.

Step 3 - Take your thinking to a higher level and change yourself first

It is often said that the changes we desire in others are made possible a lot faster by the changes we make to ourselves and this is ever so true in resolving conflict is relationships. If you want to see your marriage or relationship renewed, make a conscious effort to get yourself above all petty thoughts and bitter struggles. Concentrate on changing yourself and getting a new outlook on life. Finding your inner peace brings about renewed confidence and a radiance that people cannot help but notice, possibly even your ex husband.

Remember, keep a clear head and think straight. Reconciliation in any relationship is not easy and is best handled by following step-by-step advice and guidance which have been tested and proven to work in different circumstances over time.

Now Listen Carefully-

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Author's Bio: 

50% of people divorce. Do not be another statistic. You Can Save Your Marriage These powerful techniques will allow you to trust again and ignite the fire and passion back into your relationship. Save Your marriage today! Click Here

Divorce does not have to be your only option. Even if it feels as though your relationship can't be saved because of the ongoing conflicts between you and your spouse, it can be. There are techniques that you can begin using today that will not only stop a divorce, but will help also you build a stronger and more loving marriage.

Do you have a unique situation? Discuss your marriage problems on our forum. We can help you find a great loving relationship! Go to: RelationshipTalkForum.com