Husband Wants Me Out Of The House: My Husband Wants Me To Leave The House

To save something as precious as your marriage is no easy task. Especially, if you are still in love with your spouse, though things may have gone horribly wrong with the relationship. Your spouse has finally informed you about the decision to split and you are in a complete mental mess as to how to save your marriage. Does this announcement to separate mean that you are one step away from a divorce? How can you possibly live alone in future? Why can't your spouse understand how you love him or her?

Such questions are normal for someone who is desperate to hold on to a failing marriage. When we fail to find a suitable answer to our problems, we tend to find a scapegoat. In this case in a desperate attempt to save your marriage, there are some predictable actions from you. They could be any one or all of them:

o You cry, beg and plead to save your marriage.

o You find a host of complaints against your spouse and start hurling hurting words and sometimes even get physically violent, trying to find the solution to the problem and save your marriage.

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o To save your marriage, you might resort to some amount of emotional blackmailing. These include giving your spouse enough reasons for not leaving you - kids finances, home, etc are cited at strategic moments.

The truth of the matter is that to save your marriage, none of these are going to work. The first thing you ought to do is to allow your spouse to give you the reasons behind such a decision. If you are serious to save your marriage, it is impossible to take any corrective step unless you listen patiently to his or her charges, without immediately blaming, accusing, justifying, etc.

Once you have heard him or her out fully, without uttering a word, it is time for you to do some serious introspection. You have to remember that you have also played your role in the break up. Therefore, to save your marriage, your first job is to clear your own stable. Make an unbiased assessment of how you have treated your spouse; how you have dealt with minor complaints or conflicts; how much quality time you have spent with each other? Perhaps you have been so busy with your own life that you never stopped for a moment to check whether your spouse was also walking with you!

To save your marriage, you first have to take stock of such situations, make an honest pledge to rectify your side of the story and if your spouse feels true love and respect for you, you have a very high chance to save your marriage. Or else, you need not go through the entire drill to save your marriage, because there is hardly any point in living with a partner, who is not in love with you anymore.

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A marriage is a tough thing to keep going. There's no getting around it. It takes constant work on both the family level, as well as the personal level. In fact, unfortunately it's probably more important on the personal level, since that's the only thing that you can actually control.

You may be looking into Save My Marriage Today so that you can figure out how to change your spouse or partner. Of course that would be nice to be able to do. I have wished plenty of times that I could change things about my wife, but when it came down to it, I realized that there was nothing I could do.

But, I did start to see that as I worked on myself and changed, I started to see rapid changes in her.

One of the things that I noticed after I started (begrudgingly) working on my own self was that I often didn't do what I said I was going to do. Now, there was no shortage of being told this. My wife certainly wasn't shy about saying so, but when she did I would automatically get defensive, and that would turn into a big nasty argument. (Isn't funny how we end up fighting over the silliest things sometimes?).

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Amy Waterman, the creator of Save My Marriage Today spells it out very clearly that we must work on changing our own habits and downfalls rather than trying to change your spouses or significant other. It was something that I hated about the course in the beginning. I guess because I'm a man maybe, I don't know. All I knew was that it was her that needed the changing. What the heck was wrong with this course?

But after using the strategies I started to see simple little changes in both myself and the relationship on a whole. Probably because these were things I hadn't actually noticed or took the time to care about changing. I knew down deep that I didn't do the things I said I would, but I didn't realize that every time I didn't do something it broke down the trust between my wife and I little by little. After all, why would you trust somebody who says they're going to clean the garage and never does? Or even something as simple as stopping to grab a gallon of milk. Little by little it's like chipping away at a stone.

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A lot of the time people who are married find themselves in relationships that seem like they are going nowhere. They ask themselves things like "why isn't my relationship working for me", and without a doubt, they will get an answer, but most of the time the answer they come up with is not one which will serve them in trying to save their marriage. The answer will be something like "well, because I'm not a good husband" and then frustration and depression will set in.

They key to saving your marriage is knowing which questions to ask. If you begin to ask questions like "what can I do to start paying more attention to my spouse?" then the answer you come up with will probably be one that empowers you to be a better husband or wife. When we start to ask questions that lead to dead-end answers, that's when things get even more complicated and frustrating.

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You want to always be asking yourself as well as your partner questions that are made to help the relationship grow and be healthy. The way a question is worded has a tremendous power in the answer that is given. If your answers are powerful and effective then chances are you are asking the right questions of yourself and your partner, but if you find you still have problems in solving your marriage woes, then start asking some more empowering questions that will allow you to start taking control of your relationship and working together to correct whatever is wrong. Questions are important things in determining the answer that is given and therefore the result.

Do you want to reawaken a committed and loving relationship in your marriage? There are proven steps that are amazingly powerful that will help you overcome conflicts and breathe life back into your marriage. This is a plan you do not want to pass by. Click here to see the proven steps on how to save your marriage.

Bible based marriage is based on biblical principles. It follows divine ordinance makes people involved happy continually. It gives room for good and godly parenting, eliminate the works of the devil in marriage thus satisfying God. It involves the following:

a. It is rooted in the word of God: God is involved in the choice making process; with prayer and divine direction as the major determinants, it involves pure courtship, glorious wedding and happy marriage.

b. Head role of the Husband: Husband is the head. He is a leader not a boss, a husband not a horseman and the head not the headache. Here, husband knows that he is just the 'figurehead', the true head is God himself. Hence, he is careful to do everything in the fear of the Lord, not lording it over the wife.

c: Wife as the subhead: The wife is ready to submit in reverence to God . However, she obeys, and worships her husband.

d: Loving Husband: The husband is a lover, loving the wife as Christ loves the church.

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e. Communication: There is positive communication in such marriage.

f. Coordination: Husband has the final say but the wife is given the opportunity of influencing his decisions.They are properly coordinated

g. No interference: Third parties (children, in-laws, friends) are not given opportunity of coming between them

h. Laughter: There is humour and laughter in the home. A marriage without humour is like a car without bumper thereby looking very ugly.

i. Prayer: Family altar and bible study are common observances. They do not play with their prayer life.

j. Romance: There is constant romance in the marriage

k. Togetherness: Oneness, togetherness and unity are in the house of any bible based marriage.

l. Integration: In a Bible based marriage, men bring joy and stabilize the family while the women (the hearts of the family) have herald in peace, tranquility and comfort.

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.

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There are specific techniques that will show you exactly what to do and what to say to get your spouse back in your arms- Especially if you are the only one trying... Visit Save The Marriage to find out more.

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