Husband Wife Dispute Problem Solution: How To Resolve Conflicts Between Husband And Wife

If you know that your marriage is at the crucial stage, it is best for you to look for immediate solutions in order to workout on your relationship as husband and wife. These are some of the major marital problems and solutions that you need to take note of most especially if you are experiencing problems in your married life:

Understanding marital problems and solutions.

Focus on your problem- if you know that your relationship is not working well, it is your responsibility to find out what is the underlying problem in order to find immediate solution. Remember not to sacrifice your relationship just because of your problems. It is better if you will talk to your partner in order for you to resolve your problem immediately.

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Be honest- if you want to resolve your marital problems as husband and wife, it is very important for you to be honest on what you feel. Keeping your true feelings with your partner will never be effective when it comes to solving your marital issues therefore, if you want to find solution, open up and be honest to your partner. This will not only solve your problem but it will create a stronger and happier relationship.

Learn to listen- listening is also one of the perfect factor in marriage that you should take note of. Listening to your partner is not difficult. If you love your partner, then you should respect and acknowledge his or her opinions and feelings and one of showing this is through listening.

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Fights are a common occurrence in any relationship even in marriage. When couples become upset over work load, household chores or their children's misbehavior, arguments that can lead to a fight can happen.

The frequency of fights, however, is not the same among married couples. Some get into conflict with each other more often than the others. Those who fight less normally have a patient and tolerant attitude that helps them deal with their issues in a calm manner compared to those who are hot-tempered and have little patience.

How you fight and how often you get into arguments can give you a good signal of where your relationship is heading to. A new study has found that the level of your conflicts will be likely the same in the coming years. The research done by professors coming from American universities and published in the Journal of Family Issues showed that the so called conflict level among couples remains the same throughout their relationship. The finding was based on a comprehensive survey of some 2,000 married couples in a period of 20 years.

What this means then is those who fight less frequently won't have much of a problem later on as there's a huge likelihood that their level of conflict will remain steady in the years to come. On the other hand, those who often find themselves fighting over minor and major issues will continue to do moving forward.

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The research, however, did not state that just because you're fighting more often does not necessarily mean you will be unhappy and will have a rocky marriage later on. Interestingly, the professors found that couples who had to go through some trials in their lives such as a job loss or one of them getting seriously ill experienced less conflicts in their relationship. Many couples will agree with this because normally it's when tests come into their lives that they get support from each other. And when this happens, the issues no longer become priority and may sometimes just vanish into thin air.

Conflicts are normal and in fact, the researchers warned that it's not healthy if couples never really argue or get into fights in their entire lives. They said it may be a sign that the husband and wife are not just into each other.

The same study also found that couples who foresee themselves being together throughout their lifetime are more likely to achieve a lasting relationship. The researchers pointed out that these people who envision a long term marital bond with their partners have the drive to work things out no matter what happens. In short, they can make the extra effort to nurture their relationship and meet their expectations.

It's the attitude that really matters when in conflict with your spouse. The way you deal with your issues will spell the difference in having more or less frequent fights throughout your marriage. It's okay to argue once in a while but you should know when to stop and to give in. After all, marriage is not about winning in fights but it's about loving, respecting and understanding your other half.

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I often receive emails from wives whose husbands have left the home (or have threatened to) and / or or recently separated themselves from their marriage. This break or space is often not the wife's first choice. Most of the people who contact me want to save their marriages. To that end, a common question that I'm often asked by wives are things like "is there a way to get my husband to want me back? If so, how?"

There are definitely some things that you can try. And, in my opinion and experience, there is definitely a right way and a wrong way to do this. Many times, the thing that feels right and necessary is actually the last thing that you should do and the thing that is likely going to do more harm than good. I will discuss this more in the following article.

Trying To "Make" Someone Do Something Will Often Make Them Defensive. You're Better Off Changing Your Own Actions: Before I get started with what you should try, I want to go over what I strongly feel that you should avoid. If you attempt to "make" your husband do what he doesn't want to do, he's highly likely to resent this. Not only that, but he just might perceive you as someone who is trying to keep him from evaluating what will make him happy. Once he sees you in this way, he's much more likely to avoid you or to have a negative reaction to you.

Yes, I know that you want to change his mind and change his perceptions. But force is often not the best way to do it. Nor is trying to get him to want you back through drama and negativity. At the end of the day, don't you want for him to be enthusiastic about his decision and come to it on his own? If he doesn't, both of you will likely be insecure and doubtful because you know that there is still doubt in his heart.

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So rather than trying to control what you can't (his thoughts, actions, and feelings,) focus instead on controlling what you and have direct access to which is how you handle this and your own actions. Positive emotions and actions are much more likely to get him into the mind set of wanting you back than tricking or "making" him come back to you.

Showing Him The Person And The Relationship That He Really Wants: Often when I ask wives where this went wrong and why the husband left or checked out, they will sometimes shrug their shoulders and tell me that they don't know. Sometimes, they'll tell me that they've grown apart or that their husband is unhappy or that the husband now doesn't have any idea what he wants.

In short, the wives will sometimes claim ignorance. This is usually a defense mechanism. Because you often know what you need to know even if you are trying to protect yourself. And often, the connection and the intimacy has lessened, even though this is rarely any one person's fault. This is extremely common, but it is something which must be overcome. Life and obligations usually interrupt the great thing we have going.

It's very difficult for us to give him our full attention or priority all of the time in the way that we used to. We have kids to raise, jobs to go to, and a home to care for. This is so understandable, but somewhere along the line, we run the risk of him seeing us and the relationship differently. And this is usually when he checks out and perceives that the grass might be greener outside of the marriage. But you can even the playing field. Because you intimately know the woman he used to love more than life itself. You are her. You know how she acts, what she does, and the way that she used to make him happy. Don't turn your back on this information. Use it to your full advantage.

What if your spouse already left you? Here's how to get them back.

Showing Him Who And What You Want Him To See: As awful as it sounds, you really are trying to cultivate an image and a perception right now. You want him to see that the woman he loved and the marriage that fulfilled him can still be there. To do this, you will have to show him all of the positive aspects and not the negative ones. So, keep this in mind, every time you act or consider making a move.

Let's ponder this. A woman who is arguing, eliciting guilt, making demands, engaging or attempting to "make him" act in a certain way is going to likely be perceived as negative. This will usually cause him to pull away. But, a woman who is busy, coping, alluring, and open minded is likely going to gain some ground. You really want to portray yourself as someone who has his best interests at heart, but who doesn't completely come to a standstill without him.

Think for a second about who you were when he fell in love with you. How much do you resemble that person right now, at this exact second? I know that I'm asking you to do a bit of acting (at least when he's around,) but the end justifies the means in my opinion. When he sees that you aren't reacting how he thought you would and that you're the person he feared was gone, you're setting it up so that he might begin to challenge the belief that things might just be better without you.

Now, you want to go slowly and use some restraint. You eventually want for him to think that this was his idea and his decision all along. The idea is not to "make" him want you back, but to entice or lure him to do so.

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Many of you reading this may not know that God designed marriage to work according to the way he created the man and the woman. Each gender has its own marital duties that when practiced appropriately make the marriage thrive. "The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband." (1 Corinthians 7:3)

What are the martial duties that scripture is talking about? Understand that in a Christ-built marriage the husband has responsibilities and the wife has responsibilities, lest the marriage would have no purpose and no direction. When both the husband and the wife are practicing their duties properly it keeps the relationship structured, organized, and spiritually blessed. Everyone is happy, no one is in need of anything, and no one is looking outside the bounds of the marriage for companionship.

"Wives submit to your husbands as to the Lord". (Ephesians 5:22) It is a wife's duty to submit to her husband. God created a hierarchy in marriage according to how he created men and women. Jesus Christ is head over the husband and husbands are head over the wife in just the same way that Christ is head over the church, his body, of which he is the Savior". (Ephesians 5:23) This does not mean that man is superior to the woman.

In God's eyes men and women are equal heirs of His kingdom, and that's all that matters! In society there is a push and shove mentality that the different sexes exhibit with each other from time to time, but it doesn't mean a thing! You can't take this life to heaven with you. Why work so hard proving something that you cannot take to heaven with you? In fact, you will not see heaven if you are so burdened in this life with things of the flesh. "For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." (Matthew 6:19-21)

What do I really need to do to make my spouse love me again? Is it possible to build massive attraction in my spouse?

To learn the killer, advanced strategies to save your marriage, simply click here!

God chose to make Eve out of Adams flesh and bones, which illustrates that in marriage man and woman symbolically become "one flesh". The goal in marriage should always be of "oneness" between husband and wife. Do you see "oneness" in marriage today? The wife is doing her own thing and the husband is doing his own thing. They each have their own jobs, their own money, their own friends, etc. Are we honoring God with our marriage, or satan? Where is the oneness? Why are we not procuring for ourselves spiritual treasures that we can take to heaven with us?

When a Christian wife rebels against her duty of marriage she is rebelling against God and His plan for her in the marriage, consequently the marriage will have difficulties, much like what we are seeing today. Reality is, if the husband does not fulfill his marital duty to his wife properly she will have a difficult time submitting to her husband. In fact this is where the attitude of feeling like a doormat has been brought into Christian culture.

Wrong attitudes grow like yeast does in bread dough. I would venture to say that ninety percent of the Christian culture has been deceived and they don't even know it. Women have been deceived into believing that being a wife and mother is not good enough and that she must go to college and have a good career and boss her husband around. After all, most women have been told they are equal to or above men and will not be treated like a doormat. Many of them have the "no man will tell me what to do" attitude!

More and more men are being emasculated by their wives. Consequently men are looking outside of America for suitable marriage spouses so they may find a good woman who will treat him like a man. I know of many such marriages and the wives are treated with love and almost anything their heart desires. Many American women are really missing out on the blessings that come with a healthy Godly marriage.

What if your spouse already left you? Here's how to get them back.

If one link in the marriage is weak, ultimately the marriage will have no leg to stand on. Why is it so important that wives honor and submit to their husbands in everything? It is because her husband, being the man that God created him to be has a built in natural instinct to be a protector, provider, and leader. All men have this ability, even those men who believe they were born without it. When a woman usurps her husband's headship she will be in constant suffering in her marriage because she is trying to row her boat against the nature of the current.

A man needs to be treated like a man for him to be able to properly carry out his God-given calling. It is wrong for any woman to try and undermine the natural instincts of her husband because of a messed up attitude that has evolved from a confused culture-it is not natural for a woman to behave like a man and it is not natural for a man to behave like a woman--it doesn't matter what century we are living in!

"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her". (Ephesians 5:25) Husbands are commanded to love their wives-in the same way Christ loved and gave himself up for us. This is why it is so important to understand what real love is. Love is not s superficial feeling of lust and desires like so many think, but principled acts and behaviors that must be acted upon and sometimes sacrificed for.

A husband cannot love his wife properly if he does not put Jesus Christ above himself and utilize the power of the Holy Spirit within him. Now there is a wonderful treasure to store up for yourself in this life. When a husband loves his wife in the ways of the Lord, he is giving up his own life for that of his wife, to make sure her needs are met and taken care of, above his own. A husband must pray about this daily and ask Christ to help him love his wife because there will be days when he may not feel like being very loving.

A man who learns to love his wife in the ways of God will be blessed with much marital happiness. The results will be a wife who respects, honors and loves her husband. Let's stop all the fussing and fighting and lets start honoring God with our marriage. What one thing can you do today to help bring your marriage back to God? What spiritual treasures can you store up for yourselves in marriage?

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

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