I'm Pregnant and My Husband Wants a Divorce: Pregnant and Abandoned by Husband

During pregnancy, it is normal for a pregnant woman to have mixed emotions that include frustration, sadness, depression, and very emotionally unstable. A husband should understand and respect his partner for this particular matter. In order to avoid different problems that may likely to occur during pregnancy, both husband and wife should have a mutual understanding with each other.

These are some of the major marital problems during pregnancy.

Depression - it is normal for a pregnant woman to feel depressed due to numerous reasons thus, husband should have a broader understanding about the situation. Depression among pregnant women is one of the reasons why some married life becomes unhappy; husbands do not understand why their partners are feeling depressed and frustrated during pregnancy.

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Intimacy - most pregnant women become uninterested with sexual intimacy once their belly becomes bigger because of this, women feel afraid that their husbands might be disappointed with their new physical figure.

Lack of communication- since pregnant women are most likely to feel depressed most of the time, husbands choose not to talk to their partner because they are likely to argue with them. This is the reason why there is lack of communication between the couple.

Financial problem- thinking where to get money especially now that they are having a baby is quite challenging. Most couples are thinking that they will have another person to feed however they, at present, cannot even feed themselves. This should not be the reason for both husband and wife to end up their relationship but instead their baby should be the reason to persevere more a struggle stronger for their family.

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I hear this phrase quite often and most of the time those who say it feel frightened that their marriage has reached the point of no return. They feel as if they and their spouse have become strangers and while they may not be actively fighting, they are not actively loving either. The spark is gone. The chemistry is off. The love is lost. Whichever of these phrases they use to say it, they usually mean the same thing. They're trying to communicate that they fear that they've lost or misplaced something once precious but now taken for granted. And they fear it slipped through their hands without detection and is now gone for good.

This is a very vulnerable place to be. And you often feel as though you might not ever find your way back. Almost everyone in this situation wonders and fears if they are the only one who misses it. You worry that your spouse or partner would just as soon that you let it go without a fight. (This isn't always the case by the way. Often, this assumption is wrong.)

I'm not sure if you yourself are even completely receptive to restoring the love that you might think has been lost. Either way, I've seen it restored countless times, even when both parties were unsure that they wanted it to happen, and were all but certain that it could not happen. It really only takes one brave person to begin to take some strategic action. Once things begin to shift, usually even the most reluctant spouse will come around when they see that things can indeed change and that these changes are not nearly as painful, awkward, or as impossible as they once feared. I will discuss this more in the following article.

Has All Of The Love Really Been Lost?: Taking An Honest Look: Often when people tell me that every ounce of the love has been lost, I have to draw their attention to the obvious. Because if every ounce of the love was gone, then they would not even be bringing this up. They wouldn't care one way or another. They would be indifferent and accepting. But, this is not the case. They are upset or concerned enough about this they are reaching out and at least seeking a resolution.

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People who are at peace with their situation or know that it's totally hopeless don't research the possibility of a solution or even validation. My theory on this is that, somewhere deep inside, they don't want for this to be over. They want to feel loved and to offer love again. They are just afraid to want something that won't or can't happen and they do not want to feel vulnerable if they are the only one who feels this way.

Look To See If It's The Effort Has Been Lost: Usually the first step in getting back some of the affection is to see what is working and then to intensify those efforts. Usually I will ask what types of things currently brings decent results. In other words, I will ask for examples of positive interactions between them. I will usually get a response that is something like "but you don't understand. We never spend any meaningful time together discussing anything other than pointless pleasantries. If we push this, it just feels awkward and forced."

They are right about that. It can feel awkward and forced. And this is usually the point where people where sort of throw up their arms and give up. They aren't getting the pay off that they had hoped for and are instead getting negative feedback and frustration. So they retreat. And the distance seems to intensify and get worse. So suddenly they think that they were right all along, that the love really has been lost and this is all the proof that they need that the end is really near.

And the really sad thing is that it is only human nature to want to retreat when you feel vulnerable, afraid, doubtful, unappreciated, alone, and all of the other negative emotions that go along with this process. But someone has to be the one to keep going. It only takes one. Eventually, the other person will usually get on board, but until then, it may have to be you.

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Being The First One To Try To Get The Love Back In Your Marriage: So often in this process, I see people hold back. It's frustrating because they often don't know how close they are to really making a change. They may only have just steps more to go before they made real progress. But sometimes, they will never known because they give up frustrated and defeated.

If you really are concerned and upset about the loss of love in your marriage, do not be this person. Sometimes you have to be the brave one and must have confidence that they will follow eventually when they begin to see progress. And honestly, you don't have to experience this process as one that has to be endured. If you can change the negative perceptions to positive ones, you're half way home.

You won't and don't need to solve all of your problems over night. Right now, you're only trying to bring some light into the dark. You're trying to create pleasurable situations that you can share and then repeat. This shouldn't be anything heavy or stressful. Use your knowledge of what you used to enjoy and start there. Don't compare the two or consider how different things are now. Just accept what is now and vow to keep at it until you see slow and steady improvements.

I know that the process can seem daunting. But it's a very rare occasion that when one person gives there all, acts in the way that they want to be treated, and focuses on the positive, that this thing can't be turned around. I've seen it happen countless times. I know that you might think that all the love is gone, but it's often the effort that leaves. The feelings follow. But when the effort comes back, the feelings will usually follow suit.

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Studies have shown that money matters are one of the common causes of conflict among married couples. Marriage therapists and even couples who have fought numerous times over money also agree to this. Fact is, many marriages have been ruined owing to financial problems that remain unsolved.

This problem dates back to the olden times. Regardless of the financial market condition, experts have found that the issue about money among couples remained the same.

But you can always improve your marriage by avoiding the common mistakes other people have made. Attitude has a lot to do with it coupled with teamwork with regards to managing the family's finances.

Stop being materialistic. It's never a good attitude to put great value on things rather than on your relationship. Research has shown that married couples who are materialistic are not happy people. The study done by BYU and William Jefferson University revealed that those who experienced financial difficulty actually had enough or plenty of funds. The reason behind their issue was their materialism.

Sometimes, there are people who just dream big even though they can't afford. They would go to the extent of insisting to their partner to buy this or that or go for a holiday in another country just to satisfy themselves. If the other spouse also has the tendency to give in to the wishes of his partner, then they're most likely to suffer from debt moving forward.

What do I really need to do to make my spouse love me again? Is it possible to build massive attraction in my spouse?

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Don't gamble your money. Some people are just so into gambling. It's become a habit that they can't live without. But this is something that should be corrected.

Experts call gambling foolish spending and it's considered to be one of the major financial causes of divorce. A paper entitled Bank on it: Thrifty Couples are the Happiest stated that divorce is more likely to happen if one spouse feels that his or her partner is spending their money foolishly. As such, the research suggests that how a spouse perceives his partner's handling of their money is vital in keeping their marriage and family stable.

Decide on how to spend your money. Couples need to sit down and talk about how to properly spend their money. This is particularly important if both the husband and wife have conflicting values on money such as one is frugal while the other is a big spender. Decide on your spending limit including when using the credit card and how much you should save on a monthly basis.

It is vital that couples work on their common goals. If both are working, for instance, you can decide on who will be in charge for the large bills and who pays for the utilities and food. It's a matter of give and take. And once this habit is achieved, you'll be surprised to know that you no longer fight over money but instead enjoy a lifestyle that you desire without having to go into debt.

Keep these things in mind moving forward so you avoid the financial pitfalls that often lead to conflicts and worse, divorce.

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How can couples meet each other's emotional needs better? How can couples prevent emotional infidelities from happening in their marriage? When two people become bonded through marriage they depend on one another for their emotional needs getting met. But what happens later on down the road? Let's take a look.

* Lack of Intimacy - Intimacy becomes lost because couples have stopped having intimate conversations and alone time with one another. Understand that intimacy and sex is not the same thing. Sex can be intimate, but you can also be intimate without having sex. Intimacy is the closeness a person feels with another. Watching a movie and eating popcorn together on the couch can be an intimate moment between couples.

* Rejected Feedings - When a spouse exerts their opinion, thoughts and ideas and the other spouse invalidates those feelings, a spouse can feel rejected and unneeded. You can keep the fires burning in your marriage by agreeing and supporting one another. Marriage should not be "her way" or "his way" but "both your way", teamwork. How good and pleasant when fellow believers live together in unity. (Psalm 133:1)

* Lack of Intimate Conversation - Do you know the person you married? One reason we lose touch with our spouse is because we stop having intimate conversations. We want to feel comfortable talking with and being with the person we married, but did you know that many couples feel uncomfortable being with each other. What causes that? Lack of bonding (intimate attachment) with one another and fear of feelings being rejected.

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* Lack of Same Goals, Aspirations - Most marriages have the husband doing his own thing, and he has his own friends and hobbies, and the wife does her own things, friends and hobbies. They are pulling away from each other rather than working to be together and applying teamwork in the marriage. As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another. (Proverbs 27:17)

* Confusion of Roles - In marriage the husband has his roles and responsibilities that should be attended to and the wife has hers. Together they make a team because they compliment each other's position in the marriage. But when the wife tries to overthrow her husband's manly protection and position in the marriage, the balance of the marriage becomes upset. It works the other way too. Couples should be working with and encouraging each other so as to compliment each other's position in the marriage.

* Lack of Spiritual Oneness - It's ironic how God brings couples together in marriage, and how couples usually drift apart from each other. They are not basing their marriage on God's truths and principles. Couples need to pray together every day. Reading of the bible and prayer together is a must for a healthy and balanced marriage.

What Happens When The Above Emotional Needs Do Not Get Met

* Lose Love For One Another - Couples lose interest with each other and think they are not in love anymore. Couples desperately need to be encouraging and supportive with the person they married. Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. (Galatians 6:2)

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* Building and Harboring of Resentments - When emotional don't get met we tend carry around a negative attitude about the person we married. Faults and weaknesses of our spouse become magnified. We may clam up and think bad of the person we married or we may become angered and say mean things to our spouse, or worse become violent.

Resentments will kill your marriage. Do not let the sun go down in your anger and resentment. Talk about your issues right away. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. (Colossians 3:13)

* Emotional and Physical Infidelities - When a spouse feels unloved, rejected, or dismissed because of the lack of intimacy and spiritual oneness in the marriage, couples go outside the bounds of the marriage to get those needs fulfilled. But this does not work. Let me tell you why.

For you to receive what you need from your spouse, you have to also compromise or sacrifice a part of yourself to "give" back to your spouse. It works both ways-couples need to work together and apply the principles that were designed for marriage. It does not matter whom you are interacting with on an intimate level, you will also need to do the same with them for it to be a happy union.

God teaches us to love on principle not on how we are feeling, but sometimes that is difficult to do. Feelings tell us to go to the other side of the fence for the emotional needs that are lacking in our marriage-this is why there is so much infidelity in marriage. God tells us to go to Him and pray about our circumstances and ask Him for the guidance and answers we need. Which way are you going?

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.

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