I'm Pregnant and My Husband Wants a Divorce: Pregnant and Abandoned by Husband

If you are facing a troubled marriage and your spouse is asking for a divorce, then you might very well be interested in saving your marriage. Do you know the 10 worst mistakes you can make and what to do instead? Unfortunately, I nearly learned the hard way until I learned what to do instead and saved my marriage. You can save your marriage too. I'd like to share with you what I learned so you can use this critical information to your advantage.

Let's face it, divorce is a terrible thing. So much is at stake; finances, homes, possessions, friendships and especially and often times children. Nobody should ever have to go through something like that and I am a firm believer that most marriages can be saved. You need to be smart about it though and put the odds in your favor. By avoiding certain mistakes, you can give yourself a much better chance to stop a divorce from happening.

Let's take a look at the 10 worst mistakes you can make if your spouse is asking for a divorce:

1. Crying, begging or pleading with them not to leave you

2. Anger or arguing and trying to talk them out of it

3. Making promises that you'll change if they will give you another chance

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4. Making threats of any kind

5. Any type of acts of revenge

6. Any type of acts of jealousy

7. Constant phone calls, emails, text or phone messages

8. Attempting to drown your sorrows in drugs or alcohol

9. Trying to use the kids as a weapon

10. Sending gifts of any kind

The end result of all these actions is that they surrender all the power in the relationship and they make you appear desperate. These are NOT attractive qualities to your spouse! Their natural tendency will be to pull away, the more you push. These are all actions that are guided by your negative emotions and probably by the obvious fact that most of us don't know what else to do! We don't have a plan for saving our marriages, so we act upon the natural desire to reach out to our partner any way possible in the hope of changing their mind. This backfires every time.

Instead, you need a calm and confident demeanor that will allow you to take powerful and decisive action. There are very specific things that you can say and do which will practically guarantee success if you are willing to follow a plan.

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At a small gathering of women the other night, one of the wives' husband popped his head in to say, "Hello," and ask if there was anything we needed. "I don't want you all thinking he's like this all the time," she joked. "He's really not that helpful and I'm doing most of the work," she continued. Her husband had a very subtle reaction - his body stiffened, he smiled through clenched teeth, and his brow furrowed just a bit. While the other women were laughing at what his wife probably considered some good natured teasing; apparently he didn't agree.

Recent research by Shaunti Feldhahn demonstrates that 81% of men feel disrespected by their wives during conflict. Dr. Emerson Eggerich suggests that the desire for respect is as deeply rooted in men as the desire for love is in women. Wives who fail to recognize their own disrespectful behavior slowly degrade the relationship with their own hands. The impact is as significant as a husband failing to demonstrate love to his wife. This article briefly addresses 3 ways to show respect to husbands and turn around a marriage headed for disaster.

Tip 1: No Put Downs

As demonstrated in the above example, while most men will tolerate humor at their expense, it feels like criticism and packs a painful sting. Imagine the opposite scenario, a wife coming by to see if her husband and his friends need anything, and her spouse makes a joke about how she's really quite lazy? According to research, men feel inadequate and humiliated by teasing. Improve your marriage by putting an end to the put downs.

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Tip 2: Be His Number One Fan

Taking things up a notch from ceasing to ridicule and poke fun at your husband means publicly affirming him. A husband whose wife sings his praises to other people feels something most men are wired to delight in: adoration. One of the easiest ways to adore your man is to publicly affirm him. Pay him a compliment in front of his friends or co-workers or boss.

Tip 3: Stop Arguing

Michelle found that when her husband had an idea for his business, she had a habit of letting him know what was wrong with it and why it probably wouldn't work. Over time, she discovered that he stopped confiding in her. After 4 weeks of keeping her "opinion" from flying out her mouth, her husband started sharing an idea he had with her. She said that he opened up significantly in the weeks that followed and now she is the first person he wants to talk with whenever he has an idea for his business. She went from critic to encourager, just by keeping her mouth shut. "I need a safe place I can work through my thoughts," he said. "Just because I have an idea, doesn't mean I'm going to do it. Sometimes it's nice just to dream." Stop arguing and start encouraging!

Bottom Line: Respect is a man's language and many feel it is lacking in their relationships with their wives. Want to improve your marriage? Learn to speak the language of respect! The next time you are tempted to tease or argue, challenge yourself to be your husband's number one fan. Do this for 12 weeks and see what a difference it can make in your marriage!

Next, click here now to find out why your spouse is lying to you about the reasons they want a divorce. Follow the information step by step and you will discover the truth, cut through the lies and pain, stop divorce dead in its tracks, and rebuild the strong, intimate marriage you've always wanted... even if your spouse doesn't want to!

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You were happily married once upon a time and you never thought you would be saying my relationship with my husband needs help. As time has gone bye you feel like instead of getting closer to your husband you are getting further apart. Every spoken word must be carefully thought about because you feel like you are walking on eggshells. If looks could kill both of you would be dead by now. Let me say that I feel your pain.

First let's dig a little deeper and see what's wrong with your husband.

Do you try to talk to your husband and let him know what's going on in your life but he acts as if it doesn't matter to him. He's hearing what you say but he doesn't show an ounce of emotion. You are convinced that he is an uncaring husband and believe that it's impossible to get closer to your husband.

Does your husband make decisions that impact your marriage or family without discussing it with you? is your prince charming acting more like a bullfrog than a prince? Do you sometimes feel as though your husband is inconsiderate when it comes to sharing responsibility with the home or children?

Are you convinced that your husband isn't supportive of your goals, dreams and plans? Does your husband place work or hobbies ahead of your relationship? Is your husband more likely to hang out with his friends than with you? Would you describe your husband as a selfish person?

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So to sum it up is your husband an uncaring, inconsiderate and selfish person? If he is I will assume that he changed after you got married because I know you were smart enough not to marry him and expect to change him. So has he really changed or has the way you look at him or interact with him changed?

Now the question remains what can you do to no longer be thinking my relationship with my husband needs help?

You may knowingly or subconsciously be guilty of testing your husband and either frustrating him or yourself. Here are a few examples that maybe apply to your situation.

Appearance changes - You go to the hair dresser and decide it's time to add some color to your hair. It's not a lot of color but you look forward to seeing if your husband notices. After an hour of being together you ask him if he noticed anything different about you. His response is "no I don't see anything different", and now you are angry because you are convinced he doesn't care enough about you to notice. He failed the test.

There are other tests like getting him to answer questions about things you did many years ago that were special to you and when he fails the test you are frustrated and upset.

You have been dieting in secret and have loss 12 pounds and feel sexy and thin. You want your husband to tell you how great you look but he fails to do so. You are disappointed that he hasn't given you one compliment. Another failed test and you are convinced that he doesn't love you.

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It is true that your husband should remember all the important dates, first time you held hands etc. He should also notice when you make subtle changes in your appearance. However, most men do not pay that much attention to details. It doesn't mean that they love you any more or less.

Constantly putting your husband through tests that you know he will probably fail will frustrate you and also drive your husband crazy. If he feels like you are playing head games with him he will begin to shut down and no longer want to play the game. In fact, the more you play games the more likely the two of you will grow further apart.

I would suggest you let him in on what you are going to do and he will more than likely be attentive to your changes. Let him know that you are dieting and have lost 12 pounds. Show him the color you added to your hair and he'll probably tell you how great it looks.This will go a long way in helping you figure out how to improve your relationship with your husband.

This is a win-win situation for you and your husband. You get what you want (feedback from your husband) and he doesn't have to try and read your mind or feel like you are always testing him or making him prove how much he loves you.

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When it comes to finding advice for saving your marriage, there are plenty of tidbits to go around. As much as we'd like to think that every little tip we find can be helpful though, it's just not the case. Some of the advice will prove to be more beneficial than others, and others still should be just totally avoided as they can mire your relationship and lead you into deeper trouble.

In this article we won't be giving you tips on how to save your marriage; instead, we'll be discussing more on the things that you should avoid doing when your relationship hits the rough patches of life. After all, you probably wouldn't want to leave anything out when trying to find solutions for your marital problems, and since many of the articles you'll find have probably already taught you what to do, its time you learned what not to.

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To learn the killer, advanced strategies to save your marriage, simply click here!

So, without any further delay, here are some of the things you should refrain from doing when dealing with a failing marriage:

Don't resort to emotional blackmail:

When we encounter problems in the relationship, things can get confusing very quickly which leads us to make a lot of mistakes in the things that we say, or do. Resorting to emotional blackmail is one of the most common mistakes out there. It's actually very easy to make such mistakes because of the fact that you're beginning to get desperate. Saying "I love you" or throwing your children into the discussion to guilt your spouse into submission are just some of the evident examples of emotional blackmail. When things are heated and raw emotions are flying all over the places, emotional blackmail can be seen as an attack on your partner's weakest point, so don't force it.

Concentrate on what you can do:

Promises and compromises tend to be such easy resorts for mellowing down your arguments, but they won't amount to anything unless you take action. So instead of making your spouse feel better by promising this and that, concentrate on doing them. If you start finding yourself to be making such guarantees, stop. Listen to what is being said, state your piece and then start acting on them. This will show your partner that you are indeed serious in what you say and that saving the relationship is still at the top of your priority.

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.

Author's Bio: 

Now you can stop your divorce or lover’s rejection...even if your situation seems hopeless! Visit Stop Marriage Divorce

There are specific techniques that will show you exactly what to do and what to say to get your spouse back in your arms- Especially if you are the only one trying... Visit Save The Marriage to find out more.

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