My Husband Is A Good Man But I'm Not Happy: Learning To Love Your Husband Again

Some think that being married will make them happy, some think the partner will make them happy. This is not the case, someone else can't "complete you." This is what people want and it was a good scene in the movie "Jerry Maguire." It definitely tugged at our heart strings but it's not a good reality for a relationship.

Do you really want or need someone else to complete you? I don't think so, this is not the best balance in a relationship. A successful relationship will be two people who've become mature on their own and then become a twosome, each contributing equally.

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A good stable, healthy relationship begins with stable, healthy individuals; two people who enjoy being together, maybe perhaps even all the time, but not because they are afraid to be alone. Not because they can't go on without the other person, and certainly not because they are making each other a whole person. This is just not a recipe for success.

Gaining the attentions of a person who is not emotionally stable means you need to evaluate yourself. You have to find the things which make you happy by yourself not with someone else. As your life evolves to a place where you are happy with what is going on then the right person will show up.

Remember it is not about finding the perfect person; it is about being the perfect person on your own. Work at attaining true happiness and peace in your life, and the right person will be there with you.

Pay Close Attention Here-

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Do you know how sometimes in a marriage you make communication mistakes and end up hurting them? Read on to discover four things that I learned from a wedding cake fiasco that helped me build a better relationship with my husband.

A Cake Top Experience

It is traditional for a bride and groom to save the top of their wedding cake to eat on their first anniversary. Of course, after sitting in the freezer for a year, the cake is dried out and no longer a delectable dessert.

When my husband, Jeff, and I got married, I decided there was no point in saving the cake top since it would be stale by our first anniversary. So, I told my mother to take it home and eat it. The only problem with this was that I never discussed it with Jeff.

He was quite shocked when he discovered that I had given it away without asking him. He was looking forward to reminiscing about our wedding as we ate the cake, regardless of how tasteless it had become.

There are several marriage lessons that I learned from this wedding cake fiasco:

1. In a Marriage, Two People Need to Learn to Function as One

This was an eye opening experience for me. When I was single, my decisions only affected me.
Now as a wife, even the smallest decisions I made also affected my husband.

2. Communication

I am not a mind reader; I never realized that giving away the cake top would bother Jeff. I made this mistake by failing to communicate with him. All I had to do was to ask him if he cared about keeping the cake. I would have found out that this tradition was important to him

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3. Romance Builds Memories and Emotional Intimacy

For Jeff, the cake itself was not important. It was a way to relive a romantic memory. Later, I learned the romantic power of reminiscing to enhance emotional bonding in a relationship.

4. Love is Thoughtful

Love is thinking about the other person before thinking about yourself. I was not being thoughtful of Jeff when I gave away the wedding cake.

5. Forgiveness Moves Us Beyond the Past

Fortunately, Jeff was quick to forgive me for this transgression. In spite of his disappointment, he never held this against me. This could have become a sore spot in our marriage that festered and erupted periodically causing great pain and discomfort. Instead, we were able to laugh about it and move forward.

Moving Forward

Many times life lessons are difficult ones to learn. The cake had already been eaten. I could not go back and undo the past, but my marriage was stronger for the lessons that I learned.

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There is perhaps no bigger setback to a relationship than the infidelity of one partner or the other. The knowledge that your partner has been unfaithful can destroy any bond of trust that you once had with him or her. If you've experienced this tragedy in your marriage, there are some important questions you have no doubt considered. Can that trust be rebuilt? Is trust, or something else, how to save a marriage after infidelity?

The most important thing to do is for both people in the relationship to face the fact that infidelity has occurred, and admit what has happened. Ignoring the issue will not make it go away, it will simply keep festering below the surface of your emotions until you decide to bring it to the surface.

What if your spouse don't love you anymore? Here's how to get them addicted to you like when you fell in love for the first time

If the person who has cheated decides that he or she wants to remain in the marriage, they should completely cut off contact with the person they cheated with. If contact is not severed, it will most likely end up happening again. This can be a very hard thing to do, especially if the other person is a close friend, but it is essential to keeping your marriage intact. Ending the affair and deciding to no longer remain in contact with the other person is a step towards rebuilding the trust in the relationship.

The cheating spouse may go into a withdrawal period, a sort of mourning over the part of their life that they are leaving behind.

After this period of withdrawal is over, a deeper period of healing can begin within the marriage.

How to save a marriage after infidelity is a question that many couple have had to ask, and that there is no sure answer to. However, the situation is not hopeless and the relationship absolutely can be saved, if both spouses really want it to be.

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Even though most people should come up with their sweetness off the top of their head based on how they feel for their partner, some people simply do not have the capacity to come up with their own ideas. Let's go ahead and give you some specifics to work with.

I have always said it's a very romantic idea to leave notes for your spouse. What do you say in those notes? Try a few of these on for size.

- I'm so glad you're my husband/wife

- I smile when I think about you!

- You make my life wonderful

- Remember when we said "I Do", well I still do!

- I'm so glad the "better" is more than the "worse"

- When I met you, I couldn't believe how lucky I was. Since we've been married, I can't believe how lucky I AM!

- Without you, I'm just not me!

- You complete me. (Kudos to "Jerry Maguire"!)

- The most amazing part of my life is YOU!

- Let's run away together - to the bedroom!

- You make every day a great day.

- If I didn't have you, I'd be lost

- Thanks for picking me!

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- We may not be perfect, but we're perfect for each other!

- Today is a great day because the first thing I saw this morning was your beautiful face.

- I'd do it all over again.

- Out of all the people in the world, fate led me to you. Thank heavens for fate!

They might sound a little cheesy, but, believe me, when your husband (or wife) reads those words, they'll swoon. Yes, even the guys will love it! Romance doesn't always involve candy and flowers. Sometimes it's small things that make your loved one believe that you are truly glad to have them in your life.

Even if you don't have much money, you can come up with a great way to show your husband or wife how much you love them. Give them a gift!

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.

Author's Bio: 

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