My Husband Is Leaving Me: My Husband Isn't Happy And Might Leave, How Do I Get Him To Stay

Most of the women who read my blog do so because they are looking for a road map or workable plan to save their marriage when they are the only one that wants to. Usually the husband has been dropping hints or has just come out and said that he "isn't happy." He might also have been alluding to the fact that he's considering leaving and separating. Unfortunately, these same husbands are sometimes tight lipped as to what it is going to take to change this.

The wives will often ask what they can do or say to get him to stay or change his mind. But the husband is usually either resistant to this or doesn't know the answer himself. You will often hear responses like "I'm just not sure if I want to be married anymore." Or, "it just feels different now." Or, "we've just evolved into two different people."

These excuses are unfortunate because they really don't give you any concrete answer that you can act upon. It's impossible to take action based on these vague statements that are only meant to pacify you or to throw you off the trail. So sometimes, you'll have to do just begin to act on your own and to make some assumptions based on your own observations in order to turn this thing around. I will discuss this more in the following article.

Reading Between The Lines When He Says He's "Just Not Happy" In The Marriage: Sometimes when men give you these sorts of vague answers, they really aren't trying to be totally evasive. They sometimes don't even know themselves what, exactly, the problem is. Their unhappiness may or may not have to do with your marriage.

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Sometimes, they are dealing with external things like their job, finances, aging, responsibilities, and the fears that we all struggle with today. Sometimes, a husband will project these issues onto the marriage and make the mistake of thinking that the marriage (or you) is the problem when really, his unhappiness is due to something else.

And, many wives intuitively realize this, but they get stuck on this fact and harp on it so much that this annoys their husband and only pushes him further away. They will argue, engage, debate and try to spell out for the husband why he is mistaken and not able to see what is the real problem. The problem with this though, is that this engaging is likely only going to make your problem worse. Because at this point, there is no doubt in his mind that this conflict is making him unhappy right now, no matter how this started.

So this only reinforces his questioning that perhaps he would be better off if he took some space, some time, or just left for a while. I'm not saying that you can't overcome these things if they happen, but you want to avoid this if you can. Why make things worse if you can avoid it? I know that it can feel like you don't have control over your emotions, but you do have control over your actions and how you respond.

You are much better off coming off as the wife who, no matter why her husband is struggling, wants to help him and places his happiness as high on her list of priorities as her own. Yes, your husband might be struggling because of things that have nothing to do with you. But, it's unlikely that it's going to be you who makes him see this. It's much more unlikely that it's going to be him, and in his own time, at that.

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So you are much better off being his safe place to fall and being the person he can come to in order to get support and reprieve from those things that bother him. Admittedly, he likely doesn't see you as that person right now. But to change that, you'll need to begin by not allowing him to see you as part of the problem so that he can't even fathom that you would be part of the solution.

Getting Your Husband To Stay When He Claims He Isn't Happy: Usually in times such as these, the husband will begin to think that he might need some space and time to clear his head or to think things through clearly. It's understandable that you don't want for him to leave, but don't contribute to him seeing you as someone who is always going to try to keep him from getting what he wants.

You are better off if you can offer him some space within your home. This way, everyone wins and gets what they want. Offer to go and stay with friends for a while or make yourself scarce and go out with your friends or family on a regular basis. Make things lighthearted and see if you can lessen the tension. I know that your inclination might be to do just the opposite. Sometimes, we become afraid to leave him alone, but honestly, most of the time, the distance and space will work in your favor, especially if you've successfully set yourself up as the person who wants to help him and see that he gets what he wants to regain his happiness.

Ultimately, you want him to see that, much to his surprise, he was wrong in his assumptions. You want to show him that the two of you can interact in a positive way, that you aren't going to nag him or tell him that he's wrong or selfish. Instead, you're going to work with him to make things better for the both of you. This will usually be the beginning of turning this thing around.

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It is normal for different couples to experience difficult times when it comes to their relationship. However, if these couples will not find immediate solution for these different problems, there is a possibility that their relationship will end up with a divorce.

You should bear in mind that marital problem should not pave way for you as well as for your partner to end up your relationship but instead marital problem should be a way for you to create a stronger relationship. If you are experiencing difficult times when it comes to your marriage, it is you and your partner's responsibility to work out for your different problems in order not to end your relationship with a divorce.

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These are some of the major marital problem signs:

- Financial stress is one of the major marital problems that mostly occur among couples that are having a hard time dealing with their money most particularly when it comes to budgeting.

- Career Obligation. Most couples are having difficulty when it comes to determining their career obligation most particularly if their family is becoming bigger in number. There are instances that even the wife needs to find a job because the husband cannot handle all financial obligations thus; the wife has no choice but to work in order to support their family most particularly when it comes to the children.

- Hectic Schedule- This is also one of the reasons why there is lack of communication that leads to a fight. If you do not want to experience marital problem, the best thing you need to do is to spend quality time with your family.

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You've heard many stories before of married couples involved in different types of crimes. These include physical abuse, grave threats as well as murder. Often, these crimes are committed when one of the spouses can no longer control his or her pent-up emotions usually during a heated argument.

Among single young adults, crimes are also common. As they're still not involved in a serious relationship such as marriage, many are not afraid to commit offenses.

A new research, however, has found that marriage can contribute to reducing crime and self-control has a lot to do with it. With marriage, the study showed that people have a greater chance of developing more self control. The researchers from Monash University and Florida State University came up with these findings after looking into the changes in the respondents' marital status, marijuana use and self control. They analyzed the 1997 National Longitudinal Survey of Youth which covered adolescents and young adults in the U.S.

A positive result when those who used marijuana got married was they discontinued their habit. The change was attributed to an improvement in the person's self control. The authors of the study added that people are not likely to commit offenses when they take steps to avoid risks and control their impulses.

According to experts in the field of criminology, married people normally refrain from committing crimes as they feel they are worried about how their spouses will react. Another possible reason could that they feel they have more to lose if they do something illegal.

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It's been also found that people who have tied the knot often stay away or spend less time in situations that can lead to a crime. In addition, they avoid friends and people who could influence them to commit crimes.

With these findings, the researchers pointed out that maturity is another contributing factor to people's change in behavior. As individuals mature, they often want to do the right things. And when they get married, they have greater self control compared to when they're not.

The reason why people, particularly those who had criminal records in the past, tend to stay away from trouble when they're older and married is due to the fact that they are already aware of the new standards of behavior. As such, they make it a point to adhere to those standards as much as possible.

Married couples normally share their views and emotions with each other. This then leads them to personally assess their behavior and where they failed, they eventually try to make up for it. And so they no longer become impulsive but rather are better able to control their emotions and actions and do their best to do only what is right in the eyes of their partner and other people.

Marriage indeed can make people improve themselves moving forward. And this is especially true if the marital foundation is strong and couples are satisfied with their relationship. When the husband and wife involved have better self-control, they influence each other and their children as well.

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I often remind couples when they are going through problems in their marriage that before they can save their marriage from divorce they need to work on saving themselves. In other words they need personal healing and restoration. In utter disbelief they reply, "But I'm not the who committed adultery!" Or they say, I'm not the one with the alcohol problem; I don't need healing!" I believe it is time to get off the pedestal.

Sadly people are so wrapped up within themselves and their selfishness that they actually don't believe they need any kind of personal healing. But again, reality says that we all need some kind of inner healing, first, before we can even begin to be the loving and giving marriage spouses that God wants us to be.

Some people carry more baggage into their marriage than others but we all have had baggage at sometime or other in our marriage. The reason for baggage could be for many reasons; perhaps you had a bad childhood experience that is buried within your conscience. Maybe you were unloved or abandoned by a parent as a child. Or perhaps you had too many breakups and heartaches that the dating scene caused. And finally maybe you are just emotionally and spiritually immature.

Many pieces of baggage may be lurking within us just waiting to get out, while other parts of our baggage are buried so deep that we don't even know we are carrying it. Most of the time we don't do anything about the baggage and in our mind and soul there it sits for years, keeping us from fully loving others properly. Baggage causes resentment. The hard cold fact is you need forgiveness just as much as your sinning spouse needs forgiveness.

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Accepting Christ' forgiveness for our weaknesses is how we heal. If we are holding in pain then we are harboring resentment. We must be willing, ready and able to give up our selfish lifestyle and start a new lifestyle with Jesus. If we're too proud to recognize our need for Christ in our journey in life then we will continue to limp through our marriage and other relationships just barely getting by.

Only when we deny our wretched lives and give up control of managing life under our own wisdom and understanding will we truly "know" what it means to be a whole person, healed from the inside out. Healing can only take place when we humble our lives to the living God and stop trying to be God.

When we lord over our marriage as if we were God, of course it will have troubles. That's not how God designed marriage to be. Marriage is first a lifetime commitment to the one-flesh of marriage and secondly a service towards one another, which is God's purpose for married couples.

So the bottom line is to save our marriage we first have to save ourselves by taking up our own cross and denying self and follow Jesus. There really is no other way. Healing is a gradual learning and development process we go through in our personal relationship with God through Jesus Christ.

How will we know that healing has taken place? We will begin to see our life and purpose with a totally different perspective than we do now. What we once believed as truth for our life becomes a lie. We will grow to be more like Jesus every day. This is what Christianity is all about-it's not a religion until you make it a religion. It is a lifestyle that we make for ourselves and to please God with.

Christianity is learning to love ourselves and others in the proper ways. And finally, as Christ Ones we will see our marriage in a different light and will understand what God's will is for us and how we can restore our marriage to Him where it belongs.

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.

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