My Husband Never Takes My Side: My Husband Is Never On My Side - What If My Husband Doesn't Love Me Anymore

I recently received an email in which a wife confided to me that she was afraid that her husband didn't love her anymore - at least not in the way that he used to and in the way that he should. She asked what she was going to do if her suspicions were true. She could not imagine her life without her husband. The mere thought of this caused all sorts of anxiety and fear in her. She wanted to take immediate and dramatic action, but I knew from experience that this might do more than good to the situation. To begin, we had to get some clarity and calm and then we could begin to determine what was really going on and how best to proceed. I will discuss this more in the following article.

Fearing The Worst: Worrying That He No Longer Loves You In The Way That A Husband Should Love A Wife: I started by asking the wife why she felt that her husband had fallen out of love with her. She responded that she was basing these beliefs on the way that her husband had been acting, on the fact that he stayed away from home more, and based on her observation that he was no longer showing her the affection that she craved. In short, it was pretty easy, she said, to see that things had changed between them - and not for the better.

I asked her if it was possible that her husband was projecting other issues or disappointments in his life or work onto the marriage. Sometimes, people will lash out at those who are closest to them simply because it's you who is there. The wife just didn't buy this. She could not help but notice that he no longer initiated intimacy or closeness and she could feel him slipping away more all of the time.

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She wanted to confront him very directly and simply ask him if he still loved her. I understood this need, but I also knew that this will often go very badly. Often the husband will be taken aback and will not give you the response that you'd hoped for. This in turn will contribute to your becoming even more upset and fearful and so the cycle ends up getting worse rather than getting better. This is not what you want.

One of your goals must be to place begin to put an end to the negative cycle and the fear. Yes, very often it's advisable to face a roadblock head on. But often, it's not clear or cut and dry how either of you feel when closeness and intimacy are lessening. He may well still love you, but not love the way that the relationship is going, but may also be unable to articulate this. So, you're much better off worrying about closing the gaps in the relationship rather than focusing all of your attention on semantics.

Focusing On The Things That You Can Control: Here's something that might be very hard to accept, but doing so is necessary so that you can place your attention where it needs to be. You're not going to have complete control over his feelings. You can't reach inside his head and "make" him love you. However, you likely have more control than you may realize. You can control your end of the behaviors and actions in your relationship. You can do your best to ensure that the person he sees across the table from him is pleasant, receptive, and as close to the person he fell in love with as is possible. You can try to make the environment in your home as calm, upbeat, and as conducive to positive feelings as you possibly can.

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You can address any outstanding issues in a positive and proactive way, but with that said, you really don't want to place your focus solely on problems and sticky issues until the two of you are close and bonded again. It really is quite important to first focus on lessening the tension and restoring the feelings before you try to tackle the really big issues. All this does is forces you to deal with several tough issues at once. If he's not feeling all that connected to you, you're likely to get much less cooperation and efforts than you might if the two of you were connecting on a different level.

So make sure that you're always acting with the knowledge that improving your interactions is absolute goal number one. With that said, you need to do this in the most genuine way possible. Don't take actions that aren't or can't be genuine. Your husband will know the difference and this will read as insincere and false. You want to still be yourself. You wan to be honest and genuine, but you want to do all of these things by showing the best version of yourself. You can't do this if you feel fearful and stuck. Take care of yourself right now. Conduct yourself with self respect and integrity. Not only is this just the right thing to do, but it will make you appear much more attractive to your husband as well. Someone who puts themselves dead last does not project the kind of self confidence and self care that is often necessary to project the confident and capable woman that first intrigued him.

The truth is, you can't possible know exactly what your husband is feeling right now, even if he attempts to share this with you. What you can do is to focus on the positive and to try to interact, and to improve things in positive ways which focus on what brings you together rather than fearful ways which drives you apart.

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If you are having a troublesome marriage, self help can really make a positive difference to things. You may find that your partner is unwilling to see a guidance counsellor, so in that case having some things to work through on your own can be a real help. Check out the rest of this article to see how you can help yourself.

Marriage Self Help 1

Laugh with your spouse, not at them. Making fun of or joking about your partner to other people, even if your partner is there, is usually a big mistake which is tough to remedy. Nothing makes someone feel as silly as having a partner point out your inadequacies in front of a group. You wouldn't like it, so don't expect them to.

Marriage Self Help 2

Understand that sex is an important part of any marriage-but it's not the only part! Sometimes it can be easy to blame everything on the lack of sex in the marriage, but the truth is that there are a ton of other reasons that you may be having problems. People tend to just blame everything on sex because, let's face it, any excuse for more sex is a good thing for some people!

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Marriage Self Help 3

Listen! One of the first things that happens when you meet a prospective partner is they spend lots of time talking and getting to know each other etc, and during this whole process, it's the listening which is important. The sad thing is that once this early stage is over with, many people switch off their listening ability forever. Make sure this doesn't happen to you, and your marriage will be in better shape!

Marriage Self Help 4

Learn to move forward. Sometimes it's very easy for both partners to get caught up in the tiny pointless arguments. Sure, things happen that may really annoy either of you and make you angry, but there comes a time when you just have to forget about the fact that they left the toilet seat up, and get on with your lives. Don't let the small stuff ruin the big stuff!

Marriage Self Help 5

Get an expert. If you are having problems, don't be afraid to speak to a marriage counsellor. There is a certain stigma attached to this, but if you can look past that, you'll find the guidance to be very helpful. These people are experts, and what harm could it do to get some help before you chuck in the towel?

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It can be very depressing to see a lovely marriage stepping into the process of breaking up. You want to turn back the time and save your marriage, but your spouse is persistent in having the divorce. How can you save a marriage alone quickly?

It is totally normal to feel frustrated when you are thinking of ways to save back your marriage alone. However, frustrations will not help to improve your relationship. It will only make you more anxious to the current situation. You have to stay very calm and cool. Relax your mood by going out with positive friends, a holiday or engaging in new sports, etc.

Get a pen and paper to list down the possibilities of the problems that you are facing in your marriage Think of the reasons why your spouse want a divorce? Infidelity, Lies, Gambling, Drugs, attention, etc.

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Counter the problems with solutions that you want to improve. Always remember when you want to save a marriage alone quickly, you cannot show out any of your desperation. That will include begging and crying to your spouse for another chance. Neither should you give your spouse any additional stress by pressing them for an answer. Even if you think swearing to god about mending your ways infront of your spouse could work, let me tell you all these are not going to save back a marriage quickly.

Pressurizing your spouse will only turn them away. However, if you are using the right ways to win back your spouse, it can let you appear that you are someone who is mature and cool. At least, this will make your spouse to reconsider the marriage again.

Do you want to reawaken a committed and loving relationship in your marriage? There are proven steps that are amazingly powerful that will help you overcome conflicts and breathe life back into your marriage. This is a plan you do not want to pass by. Click here to see the proven steps on how to save your marriage.

Are you looking for solid resources for good marital advice? If that is the case, this article has been prepared for your consideration. Contained in this article is a listing of resources that are available to you and through which you can obtain reliable and good marital advice.

1. You might be surprised to learn that the Internet and World Wide Web is becoming a prime location for people who are seeking solid advice. The fact is that there are many sites up and running on the Net today through which you can access the very best in marriage advice and information. Therefore, if you are seeking advice and assistance in regard to your marriage, you definitely will want to spend at least some time on the Net.

2. Another source for good marital advice are books that are on the market today. In this regard, you can purchase very useful books in both the brick and mortar world and on the Internet and World Wide Web. Moreover, there are books that are now in print that focus on specific marital issues and how you can move to overcome these problems.

What do I really need to do to make my spouse love me again? Is it possible to build massive attraction in my spouse?

To learn the killer, advanced strategies to save your marriage, simply click here!

3. There are also videos and DVDs that can be very helpful to you when it comes to finding and seeking excellent marital advice. These products are being more widely demanded in this day and age, a trend that is expected to continue into the future.

4. Finally, do not underestimate the fact that you actually can get decent and good marital advice from certain friends and family members. You likely will be able to identify friends or family in which you have a great deal of confidence and trust. These individuals likely will be able to provide you with useful and valuable good marital advice for you and your spouse.

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.

Author's Bio: 

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