My Husband Never Takes My Side: My Husband Is Never On My Side - What If My Husband Doesn't Love Me Anymore

We generally have eight types of criticism, each of which is potent enough to destroy any marriage if care is not taken.

Internal Criticism: This is the foundation of all other forms of criticism. It starts when you begin to feel disconnected about your spouse actions, reactions, habits, attitude, outlook, dressing, cooking, communication style, family members, friends, job, lifestyles, etc. At this stage, no open comment will be made to anybody about it. It will just be in one's mind, but it will be affecting one's reactions to ones mates, unconsciously.

Open Criticism: This involves criticizing your spouse to his face, though between the two of you. You may think you are correcting your spouse but you will end up criticizing him or her, for there is a thin line between correction and criticizing. When you correct without love you end up criticizing your mate. Although you may be saying the truth but with the absence of love and respect criticism is not a far fetch. If you want to correct your spouse do it with love, care, and respect.

Third Party Criticism: This involved criticizing your mate in the presence of others when your spouse is not there. It is a sign of immaturity and it aids quick destruction of marriage. Irrespective of whom the person you are talking to, there is no third party interference. Criticizing your spouse to third party will increase your bitterness towards your mate.

Public Criticism: It involves you criticizing your spouse in his or her presence openly. It may be in the presence of the children, friends, family members, neighbors or colleagues. It is another sign of immaturity and a fast lane to family destruction.

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Household Criticism: Before a criticism will grow to public level, it will first grow to household level, whereby the spouse has been criticized and chastised in the presence of children and housemaids. This is very common among couples and it is a bad example for the children.

Running Criticism: When criticism involves nagging then it is called a running criticism. It means a criticism that has been repeated over and over. It is like a cancer in the body of a family life, it can destroy any home if it is not carefully handle.

Habitual Criticism: This is when criticism has become a habit of both or one of the couple; anyone who experiences such attributes has a critical spirit. Nothing moves nor satisfies such individual. They believe only in their own opinion.

Counter Criticism: This can become habitual too. It involve a situation whereby the party being criticized becomes defensive or combative, thus seeking means to counter the criticism. When marriage get to this level it is very dangerous as it will go to the last level.

Cycle Criticism: This is the most dangerous level of criticism; this involves both partners in a relationship. In the other types of criticism, it may involve one partner that is critical, but in this case, it involves both parties. Although, the other party might have learned to criticize as a form of self-defense from the critical partner, but it ends up becoming his/her habit too. What we have in cycle criticism is criticism and counter criticism. Therefore, this crazy cycle will continue until the more mature among the couple allows sanity to prevail. Thereby deepens the family crises which might eventually consume the home.

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Do you think that your marriage is is beyond repair?? Do you feel like it is just disintegrating? Would you really like to fix your failing marriage but you have no idea where to begin? In many cases when you deal with tension and agony, it is hard see the way out of your situation. The answer to your difficulty might be right there in front of you; you just can't see it. Even when it may seem not doable don't quit. In this article you will find 2 tips to do to help you out and to find a solution.

1. Marriage issues don't appear over night. If you feel that your marriage is really bad, then this is not the first problem you are experiencing. Reflect back to when you had the same predicaments in the previously and try to remember what you did to to resolve those issues; then do something similar. Marriages don't suddenly go bad, it's a process. Recall a time when you both succeeded to get back on track and give it your best to repeat the same actions to get back on track now. It's quite possible that you changed small things and this produced great results. Even something simple such as planning time together like movie night every week, can help.Even if the main problem is much worse, the base cause is more than likely similar.

Having said that, if you keep on doing the same things over again to repair your marriage and you see no positive results don't be stubborn you need to to try something new. Look for new strategies to put life back into your marriage before it is too late.

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2. Write down your ambitions and concentrate on them. If you won't put effort your relationship and do things to fix it, you won't understand how good your marriage can be. Hang in and stay focused on making things work between you two like it used to be. By staying focused and concentrating on the matter at hand, you are probably going to find that you have new insights that you never even considered previously.

What is interesting is that, the answer was always there, you just have to look for it. Be patient, don't throw in the towel, be flexible, and keep your eye on the treasure of restoring your marriage.

While trying to fix your failing marriage may is demanding or mind-boggling, there IS a solution to your problems; you just keep on trying to discover it and then work things out. Keep the above tips in mind to implement the solutions you have tried in the past. Only if they don't work this time around, do something new. Don't move your eyes on the goal of having a better relationship. Be adamant and don't give up until you create the marriage that YOU want and deserve.

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If you don't have the "F" word built into the foundation of your marriage it simply will not be successful. That's a gross understatement. In fact, without the "F" word it will be a complete nightmare. I'm talking about forgiveness. The principle of forgiveness is the most powerful concept I know of. And the absolute power of forgiveness lies in the fact that it is voluntary. It is within your ability to give or withhold.

True forgiveness cannot be manipulated or coerced. You must learn to develop an attitude of lavish forgiveness for the one you love. Forgiveness is not meant to be protected and only given out on special occasions or when the planets are aligned. Forgiveness is not to be guarded and begrudgingly applied when, and only when, the person needing it or seeking it has cried and grovelled and "paid" for the hurt and pain they caused you. Forgiveness is not a weapon that you wield at your leisure to selfishly accomplish your agenda. Learn to develop a ridiculous forgiveness for the one you love, a forgiveness that goes far beyond logic and reasoning. A forgiveness of extravagance. I guarantee you, the more forgiveness you shower on your spouse the greater will be the return of love.

"Moment by Moment Forgiveness"

We should forgive one another and then forget what we have forgiven... "Love keeps no record of wrongs."

I want to share with you a powerful principle that I call "moment by moment forgiveness." It is an attitude of the heart & mind. It is something you decide to embrace, a code to live by. It is the practice of applying forgiveness day in and day out, situation by situation, moment by moment. You can start right now. The mind is so powerful. If you make up your mind to do something and determine to overcome all obstacles that may get in your way on your path to achieving it, chances are pretty good that you are going to be successful. So I want you to do this right now. Determine in your heart and mind that you will from this time forth forgive your spouse, unconditionally, for anything they do that hurts you, whether in word or deed. Make a pact with yourself that you will live by this principle from this moment on.

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Once you decide this, forgiveness is easy, there's no more guess-work. Next time your spouse hurts you, you don't retaliate with negativity or anger... you respond with forgiveness. It will blow them away! Your spouse knows you better than anyone, and we know ourselves better yet. We know when we've said something stupid, or insensitive or in anger and with a wrong attitude. When we say something hurtful we usually know immediately what we've done. And if it doesn't sink in right away, we know by the reaction of our spouse that we've blown it. So next time when you're on the receiving end of this predicament, immediately say to yourself, "I forgive him/her for what they just said/did and I choose not to be hurt or angry and I will not hold a grudge against them. I choose to forgive them from my heart right now."

When you do this you free yourself from hurt and bitterness that starts to set in after being offended. When you choose to not let it offend you, you remove all the effects of the offense. In essence, forgiveness truly is freedom. Freedom from hurt, bitterness, anger and thoughts of revenge... freedom from being controlled by what someone else has done. Here's the deal... as long as we react in hurt and anger towards things that are done to us, we are slaves to the person doing them. The ability to escape from under that power is as simple as choice... choosing to forgive instead of choosing to become angry and bitter, and bent on revenge.

As I said, make that determination now to start applying this "moment by moment forgiveness" principle. And don't get discouraged if the next time an "issue" comes up and you blow it by reacting negatively. Acknowledge it, tell your spouse you're sorry, and determine to get it right the next time. The words of Samuel Jackson are so true, "What we ever hope to do with ease, we must learn first to do with diligence." And those words of wisdom apply perfectly to this forgiveness principle in your marriage. Keep at it and soon it will become a part of who you are and how you roll!

Forgiveness is not some lofty and elusive ideal only attainable by saints. It is a simple matter of choice, albeit a very powerful choice, that will have positive benefits and rewards that you could hardly imagine; both in your life, in the life of your spouse and consequently in your marriage.

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I know what you're thinking. How many times should I forgive someone. Isn't there a time when the person offending me needs to be taught a lesson. Wouldn't I just be enabling them if I don't stand up to them? I'm glad you brought that up. Check this true story out:

There was once a very, very wise man. One his friends came to him with a dilemma he was dealing with. He explained it to the wise man: "There is this person that continually irks me, drives me crazy! The things he says about me are unwarranted and untrue. He is constantly hurting me with his lies and nasty attitude. I don't know what to do. I've forgiven him several times, but the abuse still continues. When is enough, enough? How many times should I forgive this jerk?" The wise man was silent for a moment as he looked knowingly into his friends eyes and smiled. His response was baffling, "Seventy times seven" he said.

Now for all you mathematicians out there who have promptly added that up to the sum of 490, you have missed the point. The wise man was saying that there is no limit to forgiveness. There is no ultimatum that says, "One more time and that's it!" He was sharing the concept of "moment by moment forgiveness." It is a mindset, something we decide to do. It is utilizing one of the most powerful abilities we have been given - choice.

What I want you to understand about forgiveness is this: there will always, inevitably, come a time when you are on the other end. You are the one who has messed up. You are the one who has blown it with your spouse and now you are the one so badly desiring, needing, and seeking forgiveness. That is why it is so vital that you begin living in "moment by moment forgiveness." If you expect to be the recipient of forgiveness then you sure better be able to dish it out.

Think of the alternative to forgiveness: bitterness, resentment, anger, hatred, revenge... getting the idea? Un-forgiveness, if not dealt with, will eat you up like a cancer and ultimately destroy you along with your marriage.

What do I really need to do to make my spouse love me again? Is it possible to build massive attraction in my spouse?

To learn the killer, advanced strategies to save your marriage, simply click here!

In twenty-one years of marriage there is a life-principle I have done my utmost to practice, and with the exception of literally, a few times which I can count on two hands, I have successfully implemented it, and thus, reaped its wonderful benefits. It is advice found in the best-selling book of all-time, the Bible. I don't know where you stand on the issue of the scriptures, but whether you believe the Bible or not, just try to argue with the soundness of its advice and wisdom. Here is the advice, the life-principle I have followed: "Don't let the sun go down while you are still angry." Relating this specifically to marriage it is saying, "Don't go to bed mad at each other." Simple advice yet oh so profound.

Another scripture says, "Each day has enough trouble of its own." See how the two concepts are intertwined? If we take today's trouble's and anger into tomorrow we just create a compounding effect - a negative compounding effect. By going to bed angry and with un-dealt issues, we wake up the next morning not only having to face the issues and pressures of a new day but already have started it off with the unresolved issues of yesterday, thus compounding the troubles you will face today with the troubles of yesterday still intact.

It's just like compound interest on your credit cards. If you don't take measures to properly pay off your debt the compounding of the interest will absolutely destroy you. Same thing will happen in your marriage if you make a habit of taking yesterdays anger and issues into today. Pretty soon you'll be looking back on three, five, ten years of compounded anger and negativity and it will seem next to impossible to fix. So hey, do what's right and "Don't let the sun go down while you are still angry." This may be hard at first, because it involves swallowing your pride and humbling yourself, but as Nike says, "Just do it!" Besides, the best part of fighting is making up right...

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