My Husband Wants Me To Leave The House: Husband Told Me To Get Out Of His House

I sometimes hear from wives who are absolutely shocked that suddenly their husband is admitting that the thought of divorce has crossed his mind. Often, these women will tell you that this is the first that they have heard of such talk.

I heard from a wife who said: "last week, my husband and I got into a terrible argument. He blurted out that he wasn't all that happy in our marriage. When this failed to get the reaction that he apparently wanted, he said that he'd even thought about a divorce a couple of months ago. That stopped me in my tracks. Frankly, I had no idea he was that unhappy. I know that we've recently hit a bit of a rough patch and I know that our marriage most definitely is not perfect. But I've never thought about divorce and I didn't think he had either. In fact, if you asked me if my marriage was generally happy, I would tell you that yes it is mostly happy. And I would have assumed that my husband would've said the same thing. But obviously I was wrong. Things have blown over in the past couple of days but I can't forget about those words. Some of my friends say that I should just put it behind me but I can't seem to do that. I am afraid that as I turn my attention elsewhere my husband is still going to be thinking about a divorce. And I have my kids to consider also. Am I crazy to dwell on this?"

I didn't think this wife was crazy at all. In fact, I think she was very smart and observant. When your husband starts alluding to the fact that he isn't happy and that the thought of divorce has crossed his mind, you would be smart to pay close attention. I can tell you this from experience. So many wives just ignore this and hope for the best and then they are stunned to be served with the divorce papers. You are much better off paying attention and taking action. And if you turn out to be wrong, the worst that can happen is that you have taken action to improve your marriage. So honestly, there is no down side.

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Try To Get Him To Clarify The Source And Severity Of His Unhappiness: I realize that the last thing that both of you might want to do is to rehash your problems, especially if it seems as if things have blown over. But, if you can get him to clarify how unhappy he is, the source of his unhappiness, and the duration of it, you will be in a much better position to address and then fix this.

When things are calm, you might consider saying something like: "I don't mean to rehash the past, but can we talk for a minute about what you said the other day? It concerns me that you've been this unhappy without my knowing it. I want for us both to be as happily married as we can possible be. Can you share with me what's making you unhappy. Can you quantify how bad it is on a scale of 1 to 10? Can you share when the unhappiness started? I'm not trying to debate about it. I'm just trying to understand what is causing it so that we can address this and fix it once and for all."

Hopefully this will inspire an honest conversation that can give you important insights on what you might need to address. Remember that you aren't bringing this up to tell him that he's overreacting or to argue with his perceptions or with what he is feeling. You are looking for clues as to where you can both do better. You are looking for areas to focus on improvement. And you are trying to come up with some compromises that are going to work for both of you.

Once You Begin To Address The Issues That Are Most Affecting His Happiness Level, Check In Regularly. One of the issues that is the biggest concern here is that the wife was caught completely off guard. She truly didn't know that her husband had been unhappy at all. So, it's very important that you begin to check in with one another regularly so that you aren't caught unaware the next time.

Perhaps once a week you can go out to dinner and then just casually ask him where his happiness level is and what you might do to bring it up even higher. You might both evaluate the changes you've made and what is working and what is not. You don't want to make so huge a deal out of this that your husband feels like he's being analyzed too much. But, you do want to get in the habit of regularly discussing any issues so that you can address them before they become issues so large that your husband once again considers divorce.

Conversations about divorce shouldn't be taken lightly even when they come in the middle of an argument or out and out fight. Committed and happily married couples generally will not carelessly utter these phrases if they don't have at least some validity. That's why I think this wife was absolutely right to take this very seriously.

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You probably never expected to be in this position but now here you are. Your marriage is in a crisis and you may be even facing a divorce. I'd like to share with you some important information on how to save marriages even when your spouse isn't interested; I guess you could call it free save marriage advice.

I want to pass on what I have learned because I have been through it before. My wife told me a few years ago that our marriage was over and I was probably the most painful experience of my life. Although there had been plenty of problems in our marriage, it just wasn't something I was expecting. Divorce just wasn't an option as far as I was concerned. My wife obviously felt different!

Although I ultimately saved my marriage from divorce, I only did so after learning from my critical mistakes and what I should have done instead. I have some free advice to offer you that may save you from the disaster I created despite my best efforts to save my marriage:

1. No matter what your spouse is saying or doing, you must not respond negatively! Negative emotions like crying, begging and pleading, anger, jealousy, constant emails and phone calls etc will only make the problem worse. Trust me! You surrender all the power to your spouse and it also makes you appear desperate; neither of which are attractive qualities. Negative emotions tend to dominate your words and actions and can cause you to make critical mistakes that will doom your chance to save your marriage.

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2. You need to at least give the appearance that you are willing to let your spouse go. You've heard the old saying, "If you love someone let them go." Although it is natural to try and cling or hold onto those we love, the more you push, the more your spouse will pull away. By allowing a natural space to form between you during this crucial time, you appear much less needy and potentially more attractive. Love your partner enough to let them go!

3. With every action there is a reaction! Your best thinking and best efforts have gotten you where you are, so isn't it time to consider an alternative to what you've been doing? There are specific actions you can take which have been proven to arouse very specific reactions in a spouse, even when they aren't doing anything to save the marriage!

So what are you waiting for? You can save your marriage even when your spouse isn't interested. This free advice on saving your marriage is just a beginning but a very important beginning. The ultimate goal should not be to just save your marriage from divorce, but create a relationship that is better than you ever dreamed possible. It can be done!

Next, click here now to find out why your spouse is lying to you about the reasons they want a divorce. Follow the information step by step and you will discover the truth, cut through the lies and pain, stop divorce dead in its tracks, and rebuild the strong, intimate marriage you've always wanted... even if your spouse doesn't want to!

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Tips to save a marriage can be useful guide to help you engage and talk with your spouse to work out the problems threatening your marriage and leading it down the path towards divorce. Some may think that many of these tips in articles are common sense and this is true but often not adhered to. The real threat however is not knowing what top do but in knowing what NOT to do especially when you do not know you are doing it!

Emotional blackmail can be explicit or implicit meaning you can be letting it be known quite directly or you can simply imply it through less obvious methods. It can also be conscious or unconscious meaning you can know you are doing it or often you do not realize you are doing it too!

An example of an explicit conscious emotional blackmail is standing with the children and saying "if you walk out that door you are destroying their lives!" or something similar (please do not do this! Kids are not pawns in your game!)

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An example of unconscious and implicit emotional blackmail can be as simple as saying "but I love you!". If you think about it this is a raw spot when emotions are fragile and they may feel you are trying to force them to drop everything for the sake of love rather that work out a real solution even if you do not realize it and are very sincere in what you say.

Blackmail is an ugly word and causes uglier ramifications and at the simplest level you should not be overt or sneaky and go about trying to manipulate your spouse by any means because this does not solve anything, at best it can simply DELAY it because nothing has been solved and the problems will come back and the road to divorce will start again with a fragile marriage.

On a more complex level you must always be aware of what you are saying and what it might actually mean to your partner. If you want to save your marriage and stop your divorce you must be aware that simple things you say or do might not have the intended effect so if something you are about to say seems even slightly manipulative then stop. Think. Then rephrase it.

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To many persons, being cheated on is likened to having something valuable stolen from them. Quite naturally, they wonder if they will ever feel 'pure' or 'normal again. Their ability to wholeheartedly trust another and to give their all to a relationship seems to have been severely tainted. Many fear that something has indeed gone wrong inside and no matter how they try, it just seems that they will never be at a place where they can love unconditionally - ever again. If you have wondered how you can recover after an affair this article is for you.

I can totally empathize with these emotions, as I experienced them all after I discovered that my husband has been unfaithful to me. Fear, doubt and feelings of insecurity overwhelmed me from day to day - I just couldn't see myself getting over it. But I did, and I am also much stronger than I was prior to this happening in my life. Chances are you may not feel it now, but it is very possible for you to overcome, get over and finally emerge as a stronger person.

Let me explain exactly what I mean.

A Successful Recovery Begins With Attaining What you Need to Recover:

Persons, who have been cheated on, can be separated into two distinct categories - those who think that their marriage is worth saving, and those who do not.

For those individuals who do not think that they want to continue with the relationship, it is important that you help yourself to heal. You won't have your partner constantly reassuring you or attempting to bridge the gap; so you are basically on your own. It is essential that you not be hard on yourself. Take this alone time to analyze the past relationship; try to be honest with yourself about your own shortcomings, even. This is necessary as a part of the healing process, and will make you a better partner if you should choose to have a relationship again.

What do I really need to do to make my spouse love me again? Is it possible to build massive attraction in my spouse?

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For those persons who are willing to work on their marriages, you are going to require constant reassurances and many answers from your spouse. You will need your partner to be accountable rather than being defensive, as you work through this period together. You will definitely need your spouse to be extremely understanding and sensitive, and willing to allow you moments of solitude whenever you need them. Your spouse will also need to demonstrate remorsefulness, as well as a willingness to try again. Finally, both of you will have to work have at regaining the trust and affection that was destroyed.

Restoring your Self Esteem

A major part of the process to recovery is recovering your self-esteem. Having an unfaithful partner can bring out insecurities that you did not know you could feel. All of a sudden you are wondering if you were not pretty enough, educated enough or interesting enough to keep your spouse's interest.

It is important to acknowledge that persons cheat because of their own shortcomings, not the shortcomings of others. It is not your fault why this happened. Do not allow these feelings to overwhelm you as they are simply not true. Yes, you were the victim and that certainly hurts, however, do not allow this experience to cause you to belittle or doubt yourself and your capabilities.

Use these feelings as an opportunity to advance or improve yourself in ways that you have always wanted to do. Let this experience bring out the best out of you instead of causing you to cave under the emotions.

Lift your head high, you will be stronger in the end!

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.

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There are specific techniques that will show you exactly what to do and what to say to get your spouse back in your arms- Especially if you are the only one trying... Visit Save The Marriage to find out more.

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