My Husband Wants To Leave Me But I Still Love Him: What Should You Do When Your Spouse Doesn't Want To Be Married Anymore

I often hear from people who are trying to decide their next course of action after their spouse has announced that they no longer want to be married. Recently, I heard from a wife who said, in part: "Out of the blue, my husband sat me down and told me that he doesn't want to be married anymore. He seemed pretty sure about his decision. At this point, it seems that my options are letting him go and giving him a divorce or trying to change his mind. I don't want to walk away from my marriage. But, if he doesn't want me, what's the point of forcing myself on him if we're ultimately going to divorce anyway? I just don't know what to do."

I truly do understand this situation. The wife felt that she were faced with nothing but options which were going to turn out badly for her and were going to give her what she did not want. From experience and research, I feel that there is another option here, which I'll discuss in the following article.

Deciding How To Respond When Your Spouse No Longer Wants To Be Married: So now the wife had reached a point where the husband was waiting to hear her decision and her response. She felt quite pressured to give an either / or type of answer. It seemed to her that her only available options were to give up and comply with the husband's request to no longer be married or to attempt to fight for the marriage knowing that he probably would not cooperate.

She was pretty clear on the fact that she didn't want to get a divorce without trying everything in her power to save the marriage. But she knew that this was going to be an uphill battle because he seemed convinced that marriage was no longer something he wanted to actively participate in.

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I told the wife that sometimes when you're trying to save your marriage, you have to package it and present it in a different way to avoid meeting resistance. And also, you'll likely have to move quite slowly and not try to accomplish too much too soon.

Focusing On Saving The Love Between You Rather Than On Saving The Marriage: It was incredibly clear that the husband didn't want to attempt to save the marriage. So, if the wife continued to push this, she ran the risk of him avoiding her altogether or of him tuning her out every time she attempted to say something.

To that end, I felt that she was better off taking her focus off of her attempts to save the marriage. This was not going to mean that she'd given up or that this was no longer her primary focus. It just meant that she was repackaging it in a way that would make her husband more receptive to her.

I suggested that she make it appear that her focus was just on maintaining the relationship between them throughout the process and then gradually improving it. The next time her husband pressured her, she might just say that although she didn't want a divorce, she just wanted for him to be happy and she wanted for them to maintain their relationship even if the marriage part of it changed. She might then consider telling him that she was just going to see what happened without making a firm commitment to anything.

Obviously, the husband might still go right ahead and file the divorce papers. But this really shouldn't change the plan which would still be to go right on focusing on maintaining and then improving the relationship. This sometimes means putting all of your issues and problems on hold until you've returned to stable ground. You want to take as much pressure out of the situation as you can. And sometimes, when you fear you're losing too much ground, suggesting a trial separation (where preferably you're the one who leaves) is preferable to him filing for divorce.

Putting The Best Spin On Yourself And The Situation While You're Trying To Change His Perceptions About You And The Marriage: Here's where it can get tricky. Sometimes, you have the best possible plan and you're fully committed to seeing it through, but your emotions give you away. You find it difficult not to let your fear and desperation show through when you're around him and this of course makes you appear unattractive and pushes him further away.

It's so important that you remember what your husband loves about you the most and show him those things. It's so incredibly easy (and understandable) to mope around and appear to be struggling. And while, this may well be what's happening inside, now more than ever, you want to show him the external qualities that drew him to you in the first place. If he fell in love with an adventurous and vivacious woman, don't show him someone who is clinging, reluctant, and bitter because this is going to do nothing to change his mind.

Showing and portraying your best self will not only make you feel better, but it will show him that the woman he loves is still present. And, it will show him that his perceptions were potentially wrong. If he can come to learn that he was wrong about you, he might also embrace the fact that he's wrong about no longer wanting the marriage also.

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Succeeding as a husband and wife requires dedication towards making your marriage work. Uniting as a husband and wife means that you both have to work together to solve common marriage dilemmas and to work as a team to keep the marriage strong. In this article, we will go over some ways to make things work as a husband and wife.

The step to a successful marriage is communication. I know of people who are still married and they don't even sleep in the same bed together - they both have their separate rooms. You don't want this to happen, and the best way to prevent this is with good communication.

Communication is what it's all about as a husband and wife. If you can provide good communication, then you stand a good chance of having your marriage last for the long run. You don't want to be the couple that looks good on the outside but on the inside things aren't as good as they seem - so keep this in mind.

To succeed as a husband and wife, good communication is necessary. If there are any differences between you two, be sure to talk it out so that you guys can resolve an issues that exist between the two of you. Your marriage can be made successful, but it just requires both of you being on the same page in terms of talking to each other.

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Another thing that you need to do as a husband and wife is to go out on dates. If you take a peak into successful marriages, you will find that they have something called a "date night" where they go out and have fun with each other. I currently go out on date nights all the time with my woman, and it has proven to be the thing that holds our relationship together.

Do you and your spouse sit down at the table and eat dinner together? If not then you should. If you have kids, eating at the kitchen table and having the whole family there is a good way to improve the family unit. Bonds will be created and eventually you all will get accustomed to having dinner together. I know of families who don't eat at the table together and because of it they're not as close they should be.

You don't have to let this happen to you. Make it a point to sit down with your family and have important conversations. As a husband and wife team, this is important. Not only will this strengthen your family, but it will strengthen your marriage as well - so keep this in mind.

As a husband and wife, you have to be committed to each and make sacrifices in order to make your marriage work. There are all sorts of things that you can do to improve your marriage, and the tips in this article are just a few of them. Be sure to keep these tips in mind whenever you feel the luster of your marriage fading away.

Use these tips to have the kind of marriage success that you desire.

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Obsessive jealousy can ruin your intimate relationship before you realize what is going on. It is insidious to the point of being extremely dangerous.

While mild feelings of jealousy can be brushed off as just human nature playing out its uglier side, if your relationship is plagued by obsessive jealousy, it is important to realize that this could become extremely dangerous, not to mention unhealthy.

When does jealousy cross over from mild annoyance into the obsessive danger zone?

How can you tell if your jealousy is becoming obsessive to the point of ruining your relationship?

Here are 5 sure-fire ways to tell when things are in fact getting out of hand.

* You cannot resist the temptation to search your partner's phone records. You have to know who your partner is having telephone conversations with, who is calling who, for how long does each call last, and what time of day these calls take place.

* You consistently search your partner's personal stuff - diary, address book, note-book, garments, pockets for any clues to confirm your worst suspicions.

* If your partner leaves the house to go to the store, you have to find some way to verify that the store is really the only destination.

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* When your partner receives phone calls in your presence, you have to hear what is being said. You eavesdrop or employ other means to listen in on the conversation.

* You keep on looking for evidence that your partner is cheating or seeing someone else, even when there is no clear evidence that this is happening. You get suspicious of his or her friends and may even go as far as to question them just to double-check what you have been told by your partner.

While the above does not represent the worst behaviors employed by obsessively jealousy people, it is safe to say that if you find yourself indulging in these behaviors similar to the manner stated, then you need to accept that not only is your relationship in trouble but that you personally need some professional help.

Obsessive jealousy, no matter how justified it may look, is not only extremely dangerous given the level of emotions and most likely an absence of rationale, but it will surely over time completely undermine or even destroy the fabric of your relationship.

Without trust in your relationship everything else is likely to suffer including intimacy. Obsessive jealousy of course strive in an environment of low trust.

The only way to address obsessive jealousy in your relationship is to address the underlying trust issue.

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Cindy and Jack had been living in a loveless marriage for some time and although they still got on fairly well they knew the time had come to look at getting a divorce. Jack was planning to move into an apartment leaving Cindy with their two young children in the family home.

If Jack had known just how much this move was going to cost now and in the future he just might have stayed where he was.

First there will be moving costs plus all the expenses associated with the new apartment.

Security deposit (usually one months rent)

First months rent.

Utility hookup fees (electric phone).

Furniture and pantry items.

Jack will be moving out of his family home and literally starting all over again.

He will have to pay a monthly sum for spousal and child support and this last payment has the potential to cut Jacks take home pay in half.

If Jacks take home pay after taxes is around $35000.00 then after the divorce he is likely to be ordered to pay around $1500.00 a month for Cindy and the children.

Cindy now has to keep her children clothed, fed and cared for on half the income she was used too. Even if she gets a job the expense of day care will offset any extra income earned. If Cindy does not remarry Jack could be paying support until her retirement and until the children are 18.

What do I really need to do to make my spouse love me again? Is it possible to build massive attraction in my spouse?

To learn the killer, advanced strategies to save your marriage, simply click here!

The average cost of an American divorce is $15000.00 to $20000.00 and can take up to a year to finalize.

When you consider that Jack and Cindy earned $35000.00 per year (after taxes) you have to wonder where the money is going to come from to pay for the actual divorce.

When these statistics are staring us in the face it is not hard to understand why divorcing couples make the decision to live together.

By living in the same house you can share expenses:


Insurance (house, car and life)

Household bills.

Debt (credit cards, hire-purchase)

Food and clothing

House car repairs.

Gasoline (car).

They would be able to enjoy the lifestyle they were used to and have extra money for emergencies and retirement plans.

Jack would be able to live in his home and avoid all the costs associated with moving out.

They could both save a fortune in legal fees if they are able to work out the details of the divorce while living together.

In a typical divorce Jack would get to see his kids every other weekend (depending on the situation) and a lot of dads find this arrangement unbearable. If Jack postpones moving out he will be able to support Cindy as they raise their children together.

In these times of recession if you can live together during a divorce you could be better off.

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.

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