Will My Husband Cheat Again On Me: My Husband Cheated On Me

Because infidelity is a prevalent issue in marriages today and I have lives through the earth shattering effects of this problem, I will reveal how I made it through and now can spot the signs of whether my husband will cheat on me again or not. Because every situation and marriage is not the same as the next one, your evaluation of the helpfulness of this article will vary and you will need to modify the advice based upon your marriage.

Was this affair your husband's first?

While this question is asked a lot and by many women who have made it through the first affair with some sort of dignity intact, many men, nearly 85% of cheating men, voice that they deeply regret the affair and would never wish to do it again. Obviously, they understand how much they love you and that you may leave them if the cheating happens again. This also shows that the old saying, "Once a cheater always a cheater" does not necessarily have to apply to your husband and marriage. Taking care of the problems that lead up to the affair will help to go a long way in healing the marriage.

If the problems that you are having as a couple are not tended to, the chances of your husband cheating again are very high, especially if this is not the first time that he has cheated on you. This should be a sign to you that there are major problems in your relationship that are not being fixed and you need to fix them if you want to stay with him. Understand that his issues are the root of the problem, not yours so if he does not want to fix them, he will continue to cheat and you will not be able to help him.

Several husbands have stopped having an affair when they realize how painful it is for their family and how empty the affair's thrill was. This leads them to not to desire to repeat this process again.

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Has your husband taken responsibility for the affair?

If your husband has offered for you to be involved in every aspect of their life and they are no longer hiding anything, it is relatively safe to say that they will not continue to cheat. They will not blame their wife for causing them to run into the arms of another woman. Even if they feel that they were not receiving as much attention as they wanted from their wife, they recognize that this was their fault, not their wife's. If a husband wishes to salvage his marriage, he will attempt to prove himself trustworthy again, over time. He will give an accounting of everything, from the check book statements to his cell phone logs. If they tell their wife that they are at the grocery store, that is where they will be found, should she wish to check up on him. They do not attempt to deceive because it will not aid them in their attempt to be honest.

In the event that your husband is not this forthcoming or honest with you yet, take heart because he had the potential to, if he chooses to. In an attempt to spare your feelings, he may try to sweep the affair under that proverbial rug, as it were. He may not understand your need to know the details or the reasons why he did what he did, but you need to be truthful with him, if that is something that you need to move on. Be certain that he knows that you will dwell on this issue until your questions and suspicions are answered.

What steps can you take to make certain that he does not have an affair?

While sex and intimacy are important factors in making a marriage work and keeping the interest of both partners alive, there are other pieces of the relationship puzzle that will need to be addressed if the marriage is to survive the affair torpedo.

To prevent an affair, or to heal from the one that has happened, you both will need to recognize the reason behind the affair and how to correct the problems that it involves. Communicating with each other and being intimate with each other will need to be improved if the marriage is to be fixed. In order to be better, you will need to request anything from your spouse that you need to feel more involved and loved. This will help eliminate any doubts about his honesty that you may have. For example, if he is uncomfortable with drinking on a business trip, then he should not go, or you should go with him, if possible.

Have you been concentrating on making the situation better?

In my opinion, the most effective method to be certain that he will not have another affair is to create a new marriage that is filled with enthusiasm and excitement. This will help both of you look to each other for your needs, as opposed to looking outside the marriage for them. Very often, people make the mistake of wanting to get things back where they were before the affair. This is a disservice to yourself and your spouse. Instead, you will need to create an even more affective and better marriage because once you both are happy and satisfied with each other; you will not need to keep out other people to provide for your needs.

There is no doubt that picking up the pieces after an affair can be difficult, but the rewards will far outweigh the cost. Personally, I did not think I would get through the pain of the affair, but it did and because of that, my marriage is now more solid than it was. I needed to invest more energy and time into myself, my marriage, and my spouse to make it work and now it does. I do not need to concern myself with thoughts of my husband cheating because I know he will not.

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Emotional understanding may seem obvious when dealing with matters of the heart such as marital problems and possible impending divorce but just how much do you truly know about your spouse, what they feel and even what YOU really feel? These tips to save a marriage will go over some key points you need to address and understand before any real headway can be made to stop a divorce and return to a blissful marriage.

Did you know humans have three brains? It is true!

- We have an old brain or 'lizard brain' as it is often referred to which deals with the most basic of instincts such as safety, survival, and propagation of the species along with all the automatic functions.

- We have the mid brain which is the emotional center of our being that deal with all impulses to do with emotions, feelings and human interactions.

- Lastly we have the new brain which is in control of our logic, understanding, artistic expression, language processing. Your new brain is reading this right now!

Why is this important though? Because we are not as in control of our thinking and actions as we think we are! Our mid brain where we process the emotions of a situation is a lot stronger and has more influence over the logical part of our brain even when we think we are behaving completely rationally.

What if your spouse don't love you anymore? Here's how to get them addicted to you like when you fell in love for the first time

The mid brain is also a lot more active when we are speaking with other people as our emotions are a major part of how we interact as people and a society and in a marriage which is why you can sometimes be thinking clearly then when we come face to face and an arguments starts the old brain activates the fight or flight reaction, the mid brain which has received a flood of hormones spikes what it is feeling such as fear or anger or guilt and the new brain trying to be logical is overcome by emotions, brain chemistry and a whole host of other things.

That is when we say those things we do not really mean.

The human mind is an amazing thing though and we can control it and understand it so a few tips to save a marriage in regards to emotional understanding are:

- If you feel overwhelmed by emotion wait it out, do not try to form an argument it is better to leave or wait for the hormones to subside so you can think without as much mid and old brain interaction.

- Understand that when your spouse blows up or breaks down something has triggered those things that is quite powerful. Let them get it out of their system then try to engage them.

- Understand that the new brain does not control the emotional reaction so what you have said may not be directly related to the emotional outbursts ... it may be something deeper the mid brain has picked up. Think in terms of basic emotions though anger and hurt is often the most prevalent (with guilt following closely)

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Saving your marriage when you feel like you're in it alone can be a heart-breaking process. The hopeless feeling of trying to keep the relationship alive when your spouse says it's over causes lots of people to give up. For me it was starting to look that way too. In fact, I was almost at the point of defeat when I discovered powerful action that changed everything.

Let's face it; few of us are really ready to deal with the end of our marriage; the end of everything we've built together with our spouses and kids. There's the home, church, school, activities, friends and family. We have built a life together and we are meant to stay together right? So the emotions we feel when our spouses tell us they don't want to be with us any more can be devastating, and these negative emotions prevent us from making good decisions.

What if your spouse already left you? Here's how to get them back.

We try to hang on to those we love out of a natural desire to want to be with them. But despite our best efforts to save our marriages and our sincerest and most loving intentions, we find that the problem seems to get even worse. Here are some very common and natural disasters just waiting to happen:

1. Crying, begging and pleading with your spouse to give the marriage one more chance

2. Promising you'll change

3. Making constant phone calls, emails or texts to your spouse

4. Acting angry or jealous or depressed

5. Becoming paranoid

6. Using drugs or alcohol to numb your pain

7. Attempting to use the kids as a weapon

There are plenty more but I think you get the idea. I made a number of those mistakes and it nearly cost me my marriage. Then I made an important discovery that changed everything. Saving your marriage requires a completely different approach. In fact, it might actually seem like the complete opposite of what most people would do. But it works!

The keys to this critical action plan involve treating the marriage itself, rather than the couple as individuals, saying very specific things and being in very specific ways with your spouse and having the courage to love your spouse enough to let him or her go. Are you ready to take action?

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I sometimes hear from people who are worried about their spouse's lack of transparency during their trial separation. Often, they were really hoping to get some insights into how their spouse might be feeling and whether these same feelings are good or bad for the future of their marriage.

I heard from a wife who said: "my husband and I separated about eight and a half weeks ago. When he came to me and told me that he wanted to separate, he represented it as something that wasn't that big of a deal. He made it sound like he just wanted some time to sort out himself in mid life and he indicated that he would be in close contact the whole time. He even made it sound somewhat romantic, like we could date one another once again. So I assumed that he was going to be up front and open with me the whole time. This isn't what has happened. At first, we saw each other regularly, but that too has tapered off. We only see each other sporadically and when we do, we talk about everything but our marriage. I am very open and honest about the fact that I miss my husband. I am more than willing to talk about my feelings. But he doesn't share this sentiment. He seems to want to keep everything very private. I will ask him what he is feeling or thinking and he says that he really doesn't have anything to share right now. I'm afraid that this is a very bad sign. If he won't share what he is thinking and feeling, how are we going to save our marriage? If he is reluctant to talk about his feelings, does this mean that our marriage is over?" I will try to address this concern in the following article.

Why I Don't Think That A Separated Husband's Reluctance To Discuss His Feelings Means That Your Marriage Is Over: In a perfect world, both spouses would be equally willing to share their feelings and to do whatever was necessary to make quick progress so that they could end the separation and save their marriage. Unfortunately, this is rarely the case in real life. unfortunately, most people do not feel the same things or have the same thoughts or wishes at the same time. So as frustrating as it is, you may be working on a different schedule or time line. You may be ahead of him in some realizations and you may have easier access to your feelings or be more open about them. This is very common. Men tend to be more closed off with their feelings and are therefore less likely to discuss them.

What do I really need to do to make my spouse love me again? Is it possible to build massive attraction in my spouse?

To learn the killer, advanced strategies to save your marriage, simply click here!

He May Have Valid Reasons For Not Being Very Open Right Now: There are several legitimate reasons that he may not be sharing his feelings right now. It is possible that he is feeling very conflicted and he has not yet had time to sort this out. He may not have anything definitive to share with you. Or, he may be feeling things that might be confusing to him or troubling to you but he knows that his feelings might change so he doesn't want to be premature and upset you if it's unnecessary.

Another possibility is that he may not have a decent handle on his feelings. It's very normal to feel conflicting feelings, especially in the beginning. This can make you feel confused and give you the sense that you don't know what you're feeling. So, instead of sharing this confusion or bringing someone else into the mix, sometimes your husband thinks that it's better to just wait until he has something meaningful and definite to share. Besides, he usually knows that you are going to analyze everything that he tells you and he may not want for you to read too much into feelings that just aren't clear.

Sometimes, You Just Have To Put All Feelings Aside, At Least Initially: I know that it is probably your initial inclination to think that the focus should be on both of your feelings right now. After all, you figure, if you both love one another and want the marriage enough, then things should automatically fall into place. But sometimes, when you are separated, the feelings are not as important as the actions. But sometimes when you are separated, this thinking is backward. Sometimes, you have to put aside the emotions and focus on the results. Because the truth is, this is a volatile time when your emotions might be all over the place. You may feel differently when the situation isn't quite so painful or when cooler heads prevail. So it can help to just set everything aside except for where you want to go from here.

The wife wanted to save her marriage. That was her primary goal. Yes, it would have been wonderful if her husband had cooperated and was open about whatever he was feeling. But that wasn't the reality. And assuming the worst or pressuring him to spill his feelings when he's shown reluctance isn't really in alignment with this goal.

I know that you want him to tell you that he's feeling very favorable feelings. You want and need this reassurance and I don't blame you because I know how this feels. But if he's not willing or ready to share, it's my experience that it is best not to press. He will probably share his feelings in his own time. And believe it or not, this isn't necessary to your saving your marriage. You can continue to try to make small improvements as the situation allows. The two of you don't need to share your deepest, darkest feelings in order to start interacting more positively. And sometimes, you have to settle for the small victories. So to answer the question posed, I don't think a separated husband's reluctance to share his feelings means that your marriage is over.

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.

Author's Bio: 

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